(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, the TRAINER taught Sam about the valuable point of investing TIME. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” and follow the successive links.)

My apologies for those who came to the site last Thursday and didn’t find the latest post of “Getting to Did.” To make up for missing that one, I’ll give two sections in today’s post. Enjoy. Get to Did. Live without regret.

HONESTY

“HONESTY means looking at all of the things we have already discussed truthfully. Did you ever see Napolean Dynamite?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I saw it. My kids love it. I don’t get it.”

“Yeah, well,” the TRAINER chuckled, “you either love it or hate it. Anyway, you remember Uncle Rico, who spent the whole movie fantasizing about going back to his high school football championship. He was certain if his coach had put him in as quarterback, they would have won and he would have gone pro and live in a big house with his soul mate.”

“That was the one funny part of the movie to me,” Sam replied joining in with his own laughter.

The TRAINER replied, “Sadly, that was so funny because it describes reality for too many people. A lot of people get to our age, Sam, and think about what they COULDA done back when they graduated high school and college BUT something got in the way. Usually, they overestimate their youthful abilities. You would be amazed at the number of guys in my gym who know for certain they COULDA played pro football if only this or that. One or two of them might be telling the truth. For them, it is sad they didn’t go from COULDA to CAN back then and follow their dreams. Too often they let someone else’s expectations or plans for them take over their lives. Now they live with regret. For the rest, what is really sad is they’re still living in some fantasy world.

“You have to be HONEST about your ATTITUDE and learn to tell when it is holding you back. You have to be HONEST about your NEXT STEP THINKING. That is, you need to be HONEST about what obstacles will be in your way and plan for them. You have to be HONEST about YOUR STRENGTHS. Let’s face it Sam, even if you could have gone pro back in the day, you’re not going to be doing that now. You need to be HONEST about TIME. That is why so many people procrastinate. They don’t feel like doing anything right now, therefore they put things off. The problem is they’re not HONEST with themselves about what they really CAN do tomorrow. Be HONEST with yourself and with everyone else about all of these things. Otherwise you’ll waste your time chasing pipe dreams and ten years from now you’ll still be talking about all the things you COULDA done today BUT…”

The TRAINER paused for effect and allowed this last statement to sink in and then said, “One of the best ways to be HONEST is to ask others. This is tough because they may not want to be HONEST with us and we may not want to listen HONESTLY. After all, the truth hurts sometimes. If you had a job, I would tell you to talk to your boss or co-workers. You’re married with children, therefore a good place to start is with your wife and kids. You will be amazed how much INSIGHT they have into where you are with all of the issues we have discussed.”

INSIGHT

“INSIGHT means relying on what you know. A lot of people think INSIGHT is a rare gift. That’s not true. INSIGHT is simply relying on what a person has learned through a long period of observation, study and experience. They have worked at something for a long time; it only appears to come naturally to everyone else. Let’s go back to what you said about people getting promoted into your sales department. How long did it take you to know if they were going to do well there?”

Sam paused for a moment because he did not want to seem haughty, and then replied, “For most of them, I could tell within the first week. I mean, I’ve been in sales for more than 20 years. I oughta know.”

“Exactly,” the TRAINER replied. “Here’s the key you have to understand. A lot of the time, the things you think you can’t do are simply things you don’t have INSIGHT about. You haven’t observed them, studied them or experienced them. If there is something you want to do, you have to study what it takes to do it, observe those who are doing it and then jump in and experience it. Of course, that means you’re going to make mistakes. But as you learn from those mistakes, you gain INSIGHT that gets you to CAN.”

“I’ve got INSIGHT in sales and that’s about it. What happens if I can’t get another job in sales?”

“You might get another job in sales. But then again you might have to change fields if you get another job. One of the best steps you CAN take is to start studying the field, get to know people who are in the field and observe them. Then, when you applied for the job you would have INSIGHT to offer. Whatever choices you make you have to devote the TIME to study, observe and experience the work you want to do, gaining INSIGHT. Some have suggested if you spent one hour a day, at least five days a week, studying and observing the field or work in which you are interested, you will become an expert in six months to a year. Are you willing to invest that TIME? Check out this card.”

(Come back next Thursday to learn how a “Never Quit” attitude will help get rid of your big but and live a life without regret.)