(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned “You SHALL Go Beyond Yourself.” If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)

You SHALL Prioritize

Sam looked down at the business card and said, “Alright, You Shall be the Best You. You Shall Go Beyond Yourself. Let’s look at the third one.”

“You SHALL Prioritize,” the PROFESSOR intoned.

“I think I know what this one means,” Sam said. “There’s only so much TIME in a day. Even when I’m being the best me and striving to give of myself to the community, I still can’t do everything. I SHOULD choose what I’m going to focus on.”

“That’s exactly right,” the PROFESSOR said. “Obviously, in any job or in any role you fill, there are some things you have to do because they are your responsibilities and you are not free to delegate them to anyone else. However, beyond those, you need to give careful thought to what you are going to devote your time. This is PRIORITIZING. If you over-schedule and over-commit, you will have a lot of irons in the fire, but none of them will be getting hot enough to use.”

“How SHALL I prioritize?” Sam questioned.

“One great practical test for prioritizing your life is the obituary test. When you die, what would you like written in your obituary? When you figure out what things you would like people to say about you after you’re gone, you can start focusing on accomplishing those goals while you’re still here. However, the truth of the matter is the issue is really not so much determining what you will do. The issue is determining what you will not do. You can determine what you do by following the first two SHALLS. The problem is there will be all kinds of distractions. Not a day will go by that you won’t think or hear about some other good work in which you will think you SHOULD be involved. You have to learn to say, ‘No,’ to what is merely good so you can be involved in what is absolutely great. Listen to me on this one, Sam; there are enough people in the world to get everything done. But only if each of us do what is best for us to do.

“Do not get bogged down trying to do other things. If an activity will not help you further your PRIORITIES, cut it out. If it is not helping accomplish the goals, it is detrimental to them. That is why I do not get the coffee during PRIORITY meetings.

“Become the best you you can be by following your strengths and your passions, then go beyond yourself by giving to your family and community. Then choose the important things you are going to focus on and PRIORITIZE them by throwing yourself into them like there is no tomorrow. Go full tilt.

“Finally, do not waste time today worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. Yes, you SHOULD learn from your mistakes and successes. However, you must not become so bothered by them that you stop succeeding today. Additionally, you must never become so enamored with your past successes that you do not move on and succeed again today. Yes, you SHOULD plan for the future, but you must not spend so much time worrying about what might or might not happen tomorrow that you forget to act today. Most of the time, the things we worry about never happen. Most of the ones that do, do so because we worried them into existence. We can’t do anything about yesterday or tomorrow. We can only act today. That is PRIORITIZING.”

“Alright, I get it,” responded Sam. “I SHALL be the best me I CAN. I SHALL go beyond myself. However, in all of this, I must not get so bogged down in trying to do everything. I need to focus. I need to PRIORITIZE what I’m going to do and throw myself into those few things as hard as I CAN and not be distracted by the things that are not a part of those goals.”

“I wish all of my students were as receptive and quick as you are, Sam,” the PROFESSOR responded. “Here’s your last homework assignment.”

“What do you think, Sam?” asked the PROFESSOR

“I don’t know. This was like being with the TRAINER. It’s overwhelming. It makes sense, but I’m not sure I CAN get my mind or my life around it all.”

“That is a natural feeling to have, Sam. Turning your SHOULDAS into SHALLS is a lifetime process. You will not master it overnight. This is about progress not perfection. However, the more you work on it, the more meaningful your life will be. Go home tonight and watch Mr. Holland’s Opus and do the rest of your homework. When you’re done, break the molds and erase the prophecies that have grown up around your life, figure out where your strengths and your passions intersect, then figure out how to best use those to give to your family and your community. Do not let anyone or anything distract you from the PRIORITIES you land upon. Unless something so powerful and meaningful comes along that you are willing to realign your life and drop one of your other main focuses, let the new activity pass.

“Well, Sam. I think it is time for lunch. We have a great little restaurant in our student center. Plus, if you are with me, I CAN get you a discount. We’ll get to know one another a little better and then I’ll get you home where you CAN internalize all of this.”

*****

While Sam and the PROFESSOR ate lunch, he pulled out the business card she gave him and looked at it again.

*****

Sam showed Susan his new card when he got home and explained it to her. She thought it was intriguing. In fact, she thought a lot of what Sam said applied to her as well. At least this time, she didn’t try to discourage Sam from continuing to talk to Dave and his friends. She just hoped whatever Dave was going to do would happen soon. She was getting a little nervous.

Sam didn’t wait for Dave to call him this time. In fact, the very next day he called Dave and asked to meet him for mid-morning coffee at The Early Bird.

While they drank their coffee, Dave asked, “Have you learned anything yet?”

“Yes, I have learned to turn my COULDAS into CANS, knowing that I can’t do everything but I can do ANYTHINGG—with two Gs. Also, I have learned to turn my SHOULDAS into SHALLS by relieving some of the weight from my SHOULD-ers. My only concern is whether or not all of this will be just like all the other self-improvement fads I’ve been through. Like you said when I asked you last week, this is easy, but at the same time it’s not. I can already tell I’m going to be my own worst enemy. How can I make sure to keep this up and GET TO DID?”

“Sam, that goes right into what you will learn from my third friend next week. We call him our COACH. The principles he teaches WILL keep you motivated and get you from WOULDA to WILL. In addition to that, don’t forget we’re still here as your support team. I still work with the TRAINER, the PROFESSOR and the COACH because I have down days as well. I don’t know who said it, but I once heard a great quote. ‘The only people who are always at their best are the mediocre ones.’ We’re striving to excel, but we will not always fly high. That’s why we help each other. I hope in time, you WILL grow to be a help to me as well.”

“I hope so too,” Sam said with a smile. “I look forward to that day. I certainly appreciate all the help you’re being right now. When do I get to meet the COACH?”

“I know you’re anxious, Sam. However, let’s stay on schedule. Soak in and think about what the PROFESSOR had to say. Do the homework she gave you. See how it goes along with what you learned from the TRAINER and next week you’ll meet the COACH bright and early.”

“I’ll be there,” Sam said brightly.

(Come back Next Thursday as Sam meets the COACH.)