(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned “You SHALL Prioritize” If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)

From WOULDA to WILL: Sam Meets the COACH

Sam had a great week. He began by sitting down with his 17 year old son, Scott.

“Son, I want to talk to you about college…”

“Look, Dad,” Scott interjected, “I’m tired of arguing about this with you. I wish you’d just leave me alone about it. I don’t want to go to your school and I’m not sure I even want to go to school period.”

Sam took a deep, steadying breath, and said, “I know, and that’s okay with me.”

“What!?” Scott said with a double take at his dad. Then with a knowing smile, “Okay Dad, what self-help, get what you want out of your kids, parenting book are you trying to use on me this week?”

“None,” Sam said with a guess-I-deserved-that smile, “I’ve been talking with a couple of friends who’ve helped me see myself a little better. It’s not fair or right of me to expect you to be me. You SHOULD be you. Don’t get me wrong, nothing would make me happier than you going to my old school. And I still think it’s a great choice. But the choice is yours, not mine. I just want you to know that whatever choices you make, so long as I don’t think they are immoral, I WILL support you in them. Further, no matter what choices you make, even if I can’t support them, I WILL always love you.”

Scott just sat there looking shocked. Sam smiled and said, “If you want to talk to me more about what you plan to do after high school, just let me know. I love you, Scott.” He hugged his son and then left Scott in stunned silence.

The most amazing thing about this was it lifted a great weight off Sam’s shoulders. Realizing this choice was Scott’s and not his meant he didn’t have to worry about it anymore.

Further, even though Scott had not yet taken Sam up on his offer to talk more about his post-graduation plans, he was now talking to him with the warmth and respect he had before the college rift occurred.

While Sam was still in contact with his recruiter and keeping his eyes open for a good job opportunity, he was also developing plans to start his own business. Sam knew most people would think he was nuts starting his own landscaping business. After all, he thought, how many people actually like cutting grass and trimming shrubs? Yet, he did.

On top of that, he was actually excited about it. What made him most excited was that, for him, this wasn’t really about making money, though he was honest and down to earth enough to know he did have to do that. His real thought was what his neighborhood would look like if he were able to take care of the landscaping. Further, he thought of all the people he could serve because they didn’t like cutting the grass and digging flower beds.

There was no doubt about it, Sam was excited. He couldn’t wait to meet with Dave’s third friend—the COACH, whatever that was supposed to mean.

*****

The day finally arrived. Sam was waiting in Dave’s driveway as the garage door lifted. He got in the car and said, “I’m ready for The Early Bird.”

Dave chuckled and headed down the now familiar road to his favorite coffee and breakfast spot. “How’s your week been? You seem a little more up than two weeks ago.”

“I’m on fire this week. I can’t wait to meet your COACH friend and learn how to get from WOULDA to WILL.”

They pulled into The Early Bird parking lot and walked in, talking jovially. As they entered, Tammy and Melinda chimed, “Hey Dave. Hey Sam.” Melinda added, “We have some great coffee cake today. You SHOULD branch out and try it.”

“I SHOULD huh,” Sam smiled and winked at Dave. “Well, if you say so, I guess I SHALL.”

As they waited for their coffee and breakfast, Sam recognized his oldest son’s high school football coach sitting at the back table. “Is he your COACH?” he asked.

“That’s him,” Dave replied.

“You know, he’s the winningest coach in our school’s history.”

“I know,” Dave responded.

As they walked to the table, the COACH jumped up and grabbed Sam’s hand, shaking it vigorously. “Hey Sam, I wondered if you were the Sam Dave had been talking about. I sure miss Sam, Jr. He helped make my first couple of years easy. I was always surprised he didn’t stick with it in college. But, I guess each of us SHOULD do what we think is best.”

“That’s right,” Dave interjected. “Not to change the subject, but what do you think about your upcoming season?”

They spent the next few minutes talking about football, their chances of winning State again, and generally just shooting the breeze.

Finally, Dave stood up and said, “Well guys, it’s great looking into our local sports future, however, it’s time for me to hit the road. I have my own future to work on today and so do you Sam.”

He shook the COACH’S hand, turned to Melinda and said, “Can I have a piece of that coffee cake to go, please? Deborah will love it. Make it two, she doesn’t have to know I ate one here.” He received his order, waved goodbye to Sam and the COACH and headed out the door.

Sam turned to the COACH, “I had no idea you were the COACH Dave was talking about. I would have called you last week if I had. What’s your connection with Dave?”

“That’s a long story, Sam. Let’s just say he helped me get through a tough time when I thought about giving up. He helped me get my WOULDA to WILL and has helped me keep it there ever since. If I didn’t think the school board would cut my salary and give half of it to him, I’d let them know how much his influence has actually made our team what it is.”

The COACH drained his coffee cup and then continued, “Let’s get’r done. We’ve got a lot to talk about and I want to do it on familiar turf.”

*****

The COACH took Sam to the high school. Instead of going to an office, he walked him onto the football field and said, “This is my sanctuary right here. This is always right. Struggle, survival, victory, and defeat. It’s just a game, but I love it.”

Sam laughed, “Isn’t that from Remember the Titans?”

The COACH coughed slightly and said, “Yeah. Well…I’ve always wanted to say that. Anyway, let’s get started. Head to the locker room. You remember where it is, don’t you?”

As they walked, the COACH kept talking, “My job is to help you turn your WOULDAS into WILLS. Far too often there are all kinds of things we think we WOULD do, BUT something gets in the way. Looking back, we WOULDA studied harder in college, BUT we didn’t know how important it was. We WOULDA saved more money for retirement, BUT it was too hard to make ends meet. We WOULDA gone further in our career, BUT it seemed like our boss was out to get us. WOULDA, WOULDA, WOULDA, before long our lives are just one big BUT.

“Up to this point you have learned what you CAN do; that was the TRAINER’S job. You have also learned what you really SHOULD do or as we say, SHALL do; that was the PROFESSOR’S job. Now we merge those two and focus on following through with what you WILL do. Are you ready?”

“I was ready last week. Let’s get this show on the road,” Sam answered as they walked into the locker room.

“The keys I’m going to teach you are the same ones I pass on to my football team. Take a look at the sign above the door. My guys see it every time they head out to the field.”

Sam turned around and looked up to see a sign that read:

 

 

“That’s great for football,” Sam retorted, “but what does that have to do with me? Wait…let me guess—you have a card that explains it.”

The COACH laughed and pulled a card out of a small rack on the wall beside the door. It read:

 

“What is it with you people and acrostics?” Sam quipped.

“They make life fun. Who knows? Maybe one day Dave will write a book about GETTING TO DID and all the hard work will already be done. Anyway, this is the key to turning your WOULDAS into WILLS. This is the key to maintaining motivation.”

“Alright, what does it mean? I’m not sure I like the sound of ‘Yes Men,’” Sam replied.

“We’ll get to them in a minute.

 (Come back next Thursday as the COACH teaches Sam about Passion.)