The other night I was driving my kids to a trunk or treat. Ethan was Batman (read that with a gravelly, gargling marbles stage voice in your head). The part of the costume that was supposed to look like a huge muscular chest kept popping out and Ethan said, “I hate this. It keeps popping out and makes me look fat.” Trina quickly jumped in, “You mean like Daddy!” OUCH!!!
Enjoy this funny skit about our New Year’s resolutions? Have you already broken yours too?
Here is one that is a little more serious, but I hope you enjoy it as well.
PS. Here is the link to the post for my e-mail subscribers who can’t see the videos.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned about Looking to the Future. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)
“Alright we have talked about PASSION and LOOKING TO THE FUTURE. Now you must learn to ACCEPT NO EXCUSES,” the COACH began again. “Even the best laid plans get old from time to time and you just don’t want to follow through. This is an agreement issue. You have agreed to and committed yourself to a course of action. You must ACCEPT NO EXCUSES until you have followed through. We have to realize just about everything we do is a choice. You did not have to come here today; you chose to. You did not have to work your job for all those years; you chose to. You do not have to do anything about your situation right now; you are choosing to. EXCUSES are nothing more than blaming something or someone for our carelessness or wrong choices.
“Think of a few excuses you’ve made when you didn’t pull through like you were supposed to. Have you ever excused yourself for not coming through on a project by saying, ‘I’m sorry, I just didn’t have enough time’? What would you have said if the person questioning you had asked, ‘What did you spend your time doing instead of working on this project? Did you keep up with your favorite television show?’ Or have you ever fallen short and responded, ‘I’m sorry, I just forgot’? Why didn’t you act on it immediately or write it down? Do not tolerate EXCUSES from yourself. Listen, I’m not saying be a tyrant to everyone else. I’m telling you to hold yourself to higher standards and ACCEPT NO EXCUSES.”
Sam jumped in, “But aren’t there times when you really have a good EXCUSE?”
“No, there are never good EXCUSES. There are, at times, good REASONS. There is a difference. In a game, if one of my receivers gets the ball in his hands and drops it, he will be running laps. I ACCEPT NO EXCUSES for that. I don’t want to hear how wet the ball was or how he was distracted or how he forgot what pattern he was running. Those are all EXCUSES. I want to hear he caught the ball. On the other hand, if the quarterback throws it wild or if the defense just makes a good play, I don’t hold that over my receivers’ heads. Those are REASONS. Sometimes my team just gets outplayed on the field. If the other team’s defense was just making all the right moves and their offense was working tight, I can handle getting beat. That is a REASON for losing. On the other hand, if my guys were sloppy and not putting forth their best effort out there on the field, everything they will say in the locker room afterwards is just an EXCUSE. I don’t tolerate that sort of behavior from my football team or myself.
“There is another aspect of ACCEPT NO EXCUSES. No matter how much you plan, prepare and protect yourself, there are going to be some failures. I’m sure one of the others already told you this, however, the only people who never fail are the ones who don’t try anything. ACCEPT NO EXCUSES means when you fail you don’t duck out on your responsibilities. You don’t make up lame excuses to explain away your failure. Take a good long hard look at what you did and what obstacles you faced. Then find the REASONS you failed and try again, working to overcome those REASONS. Use your failures as a springboard for future successes.
“At the same time, don’t think that ACCEPT NO EXCUSES means you have to beat yourself up every time you make a mistake. I remember one time when I learned I was doing this to myself. I missed a turn and the first thing out of my mouth was, ‘You idiot!’ But it struck me. I wasn’t an idiot. I’m actually a pretty smart guy. I just had my mind on other things and missed my turn. I did what all humans do. I made a mistake. Here was the great thing. I learned that day to make a u-turn and learn from my mistake to do better the next time. I ACCEPTED NO EXCUSES. I didn’t try to blame anyone else or anything else. I owned my own mistake and learned from it to do better the next time.
“If you’re going to COACH for very long, you have to do this. When I lose a game, I don’t get to say, ‘That’s it, I’m never playing that team again.’ In fact, I may have to play them again this year. That means I get out the video and go over the game, play by play, looking for mistakes and weaknesses. At the same time, I look for what worked. In other words, I find the REASONS we lost in order to fix what is broken before we play that team again. I ACCEPT NO EXCUSES. I certainly discipline my team for sloppy play, but I don’t beat them up or call them names for making mistakes. I encourage us all to own our responsibilities, to learn from the mistakes and move on.
“I imagine you encountered the need for this philosophy time and again in the sales world.”
“You know it. If there was ever anything that clued me in to know someone wasn’t going to cut it as a salesman, it was how they handled rejection,” Sam explained. “Some viewed it as a springboard, a place to learn. Some took it personally, thinking it meant they were failures. I’ll tell you what though, my best salesmen did not just use their failures as learning experiences. They would even review their successes with their co-workers and supervisors, looking at what worked and what may have almost been a hindrance.”
“You’re two steps ahead of me, Sam. If you’re going to grow, don’t just look at your failures, examine your successes. Is there anything you can do to make it work more smoothly? Was there something different about this team or that customer that made this approach work when it didn’t or wouldn’t work another time? Either way, you’re always working to rule out EXCUSES. You can’t Make the PLAY if you are always making EXCUSES for why you’re not making it, won’t make it or didn’t make it.
“This really cuts to the heart of the COULDAS, SHOULDAS and WOULDAS and your big BUTS. When we find ourselves saying those, we are usually making EXCUSES.”
“Now you’re making me feel small. I don’t know how many EXCUSES I’ve accepted throughout my life. When you put it like this, it makes perfect sense. I’m going to work on that,” Sam said thoughtfully. “Where’s my homework on this one?”
(Make sure you come back next week when the COACH teaches Sam about Yes Men.)
This post does contain affiliate links.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, the TRAINER taught Sam about the valuable point to NEVER QUIT. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” and follow the successive links.)
“GROWTH is just that. You have got to GROW. In a very real sense, there are things you CAN do that you can’t do today. However, if you NEVER QUIT while you gain INSIGHT, YOUR STRENGTHS will grow and you will do more than you ever thought possible.
“I train a lot of people in this gym. Many of them come in with a secret desire to be Arnold Schwarzenegger. Most of them CAN. It won‘t be today, tomorrow or even this year. However, if they keep up their NEXT STEP THINKING and NEVER QUIT they will get there. They have to be willing to GROW slowly, step by step. That GROWTH is not necessarily easy. It means pushing and challenging themselves with each workout. It means reaching a GOAL but not stopping. However, in time, everyone who works to GROW makes progress. Measure that progress and you will be pushed to GROW even more.
“Face it, Sam, you’re not going to be in Dave’s financial shoes by this time next year. However, if you’re willing to GROW, you’ll get there…eventually. Are you willing to GROW? Use this card to help.”
“GOALS is the final key. I know, you are thinking this could have been put under NEXT STEP THINKING and then I wouldn’t have misspelled my key word. However, this point is not about planning. It brings us full circle to ATTITUDE. Let’s face it. We all feel better when we have victories under our belt. If you want some
really practical advice on moving from COULDA to CAN, set attainable intermediary GOALS. Then celebrate each one.
“I started my daughter running when she was eight. She hated it until we got into our first race. Some runners, who are much better than me, run in those races to win. I run for the experience. However, as you can imagine, there were not many kids in the 10 and under bracket for a 5k Turkey Trot. Winning that medal changed my daughter’s outlook on running completely. Today, she CAN run better than me. Why? Because she was rewarded for accomplishing a GOAL. Take this last card. It’s simple, but it’s necessary.”
(Come back next Thursday as the Sam wraps up with the TRAINER and gets ready to meet the PROFESSOR.)
This post does contain affiliate links.
Last week, a very special young lady died. She had been battling cancer for about a year and she finally won. Oh, I know few people see it that way. They think the cancer beat her because she died. They are wrong. Certainly, the cancer beat her body. It couldn’t fight off the ravages of cancer. It is now lying in the ground returning to the dust from which it came. But Kelsey Harris, 16-year-old daughter of Simon and Teresa Harris, has beaten cancer. She is now cancer free. She is with God from whom she came. She is where cancer can never touch her again. As much as it may want, it can never get at her again. Yes, the cancer beat her flesh, but it didn’t beat her or her God.
I had met Kelsey when she was 13 or 14. She was a nice young lady, but, to be honest, I didn’t really see her as anything more than the daughter of an acquaintance. However, not long after I had participated in a series of lessons taught at her home congregation, I learned she had been diagnosed with cancer. Over the following year, though I actually had almost no direct interaction with Kelsey or her family, I followed the story of Kelsey’s battle. With each new update, I felt closer to the family and to Kelsey. With each description of how she and her family were facing the battle, I was more touched.
I could go on and on about what this has meant for me. However, I want to share with you one thing that has impacted me greatly. Even while being ravaged by cancer, Kelsey did not stop growing. In fact, at the beginning of 2009, she wrote a list of her resolutions. She didn’t say, “I want to survive cancer.” She didn’t say, “I want to lose weight.” She didn’t simply say, “I want to be better.” She provided what I think is one of the greatest expressions of what we should all want every day. I want to give special thanks to Kelsey’s parents for giving me permission to share this with you.
Over the next few months, in an Extra Springboard for You on Wednesdays, I want to share how each statement of these resolutions impacts me and can help you. Today, I just want to share the whole poem with you. This wasn’t intended to be a poem. In fact, Kelsey’s dad told me they were surprised the first time they heard someone call it a poem. It certainly appears as a poem. Yet, whether it classifies as poetry or not, it is one of the most profound things I’ve read…ever.
As she wrote it, we might call it “In 2009 I want to…” For me and for you, I want to change it to “Today, I want to…”
Today, I want to…
Write something worth reading
Read something worth sharing
Say something worth repeating
Give something worth getting
Choose something worth keeping
Sacrifice something worth giving up
Go somewhere worth seeing
Eat something worth tasting
Hug someone worth holding
Buy something worth treasuring
Cry tears worth shedding
Do something worth watching
Risk something worth protecting
Listen to something worth hearing
Teach something worth learning
Be someone worth Knowing
I just want to say thanks to Kelsey for providing such profound inspiration.
(Come back next Wednesday to learn what I get from “Write something worth reading.”)
P.S. Check out Simon Harris’s guest post about “Eating Something Worth Tasting.”
I was recently listening to one Dan Miller’s excellent podcasts in which someone chastised him for telling folks they could reach their dreams even in troubled financial times. Of course, Miller, using his own life experience, gave an excellent and helpful reply. However, as I was listening to the letter berating him and then heard his first illustration, a thought solidified in my mind.
The letter had been talking about just how hard it can be to achieve early retirement or financial prosperity in difficult economic times. It then said Miller shouldn’t turn a blind eye to the present economic climate and tell folks they can all just achieve their dreams. Miller’s first illustration was Michael Phelps who won eight gold medals at the most recent olympics.
Wait a minute. Winning eight gold medals isn’t about finances. Granted, receiving those medals has given Phelps the inside track on some major endorsement deals I’m sure. But what Miller used as his illustration wasn’t really what the writer was talking about.
Then it hit me. This letter writer doesn’t have the right dream. His dream is about having lots of money. This demonstrates a problem for many today. If your dream is lots of money, you probably won’t ever get it. Of course, even if you have lots of money by other people’s standards, you will always view yourself as falling short.
Financial success will rarely come by dreaming of financial success. If all you dream about is financial success, you will wander around aimlessly trying to latch on to the next scheme that might make you some money.On occasion you may end up with some money in your bank account, but it will all be used up and you will be right back where you were, wandering aimlessly looking for the next cash cow. Real financial success comes from a dream that you follow passionately. That passion will set you apart in whatever field your dream causes you to pursue, which will then cause you to find the financial success. Your dream may be helping folks with cancer. It may be helping folks overcome addiction. It may be playing baseball. It may be manicuring lawns. It may be swimming. It may be making people laugh. It may be any number of things.
Here is the very interesting thing. When your dream is properly aligned, the guy who is only dreaming of financial success may not see you as having achieved financial success. You may not reach Trump status when you pursue your dream. However, because your dream is not about making money the fact that your dream is supporting you at all causes you to be satisfied and fulfilled by your dream.
Let me ask you, do you think if Michael Phelps was not getting endorsement deals that he would be upset about the eight gold medals feeling like it was all a waste? Of course not. He achieved his dream even through tough circumstances. Because his dream was aligned properly, he would probably wonder, what on earth do you mean we can’t achieve our dreams in an economic slump. Sadly, too many people equate achieving their dreams with being rich. They rarely end up rich and they never get their dreams whether the nation is in an economic slump or not.
The economic slump only keeps you from achieving your dreams if they are only about money. The fact is, if your dream is only about money, it’s not a dream worth having. Get a real dream and pursue it with passion.
ELC
P.S. For more great professional advice and some practical tools, click the Dan Miller link above.
Everyone and his dog knows if you want to accomplish anything you need to have some goals. You can just walk through the self-help section of the bookstore and you pick up on this. However, there is more to setting goals than just saying we are going to set some goals. We need to do some very practical things to make goals actually work for us.
1. Set goals, not wishes
Some people think they have goals when actually all they have are wishes. “I want to travel more” is not a goal, it’s a wish. “I want to take my kids to all 50 states over the next 5 years” is a goal. It is a goal because it is measurable. You know when you have achieved it. It also has a deadline.
