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Be Patient with Yourself, Love Yourself

May 4, 2010 in Being human, Christian living, God's Love, God's Way for Our Lives, Love with 5 Comments

love yourself by gwenwasley Be Patient with Yourself, Love YourselfA few weeks ago, we started looking at God’s love for us and noted that if God loves us, we are allowed to love ourselves. In fact, we noted from Matthew 22:39, that God didn’t command us to do this, He simply expected it. 

 

The problem, of course, is we have been so warned against self-centeredness that hearing this shocks us a bit. We aren’t allowed to love ourselves, we think, because that is narcissism. That would be selfish. Besides, II Timothy 3:2 warns that the sinners of this age will be lovers of self. Clearly, there is a way in which we are allowed to love ourselves and a way in which we aren’t. I think the best explanation of how to love ourselves biblically can be found in I Corinthians 13:4-7. If we pursue God’s definition of love for others, and are supposed to love them as we do ourselves, then this will help us love ourselves properly.

 

Love Is Patient

 

The first thing Paul said is, “Love is patient.”

 

Be patient with yourself. If you’re like me, you are a mess. You don’t want anyone else to know it and you do your best to put on a great face so no one else will ever know it, but you know exactly what a mess you are. You know every flaw, every mistake, every failure, every sin. In fact, you know the little bitty things that no one else would recognize as bad, but you know for you it is. 

 

With every mistake, you can begin to beat yourself up, shame yourself, throw your hands in the air and claim there just isn’t any reason to keep going on. “Why bother,” you tell yourself, “I’m never going to make it.” 

 

But love is patient. Be patient with yourself. God is patient with you. II Peter 3:9 says the Lord is not slow about His promises, He is simply patient, not wishing any of us to perish. A few verses later, he says we should count this patience as our salvation (II Peter 3:15). God is waiting on us. 

 

However, there is an even better reason to be patient with yourself than simply God is patient with you.

 

God is Working On You

Not only is God waiting on us, God is working on us. Philippians 2:12-13 encourages us to keep working on ourselves, not because we are doing such a great job, not because we are perfect, not because we make no mistakes. We should keep working on ourselves because God is working on us and in us. 

 

Romans 8:28-30 explains that God is going to bring us to conformity with Jesus. He is working on us and He will get us there. When we mess up, there is no need to throw our hands up and quit. Rather, be patient. God is working on us. We just need to keep working.

 

Let’s face it, we are all like toddlers struggling to walk in a manner worthy of Jesus Christ. As we start to pull up on the furniture, we are going to fall. We may even fall a lot. However, eventually, just as sure as little children eventually learn how to walk, we will to. Not because we’re such great walkers, but because we aren’t alone. God is holding our hand. 

 

Even after we’ve been walking for a while, we may have a big fall. In fact, just this morning, I fell down the stairs (again). However, God is still working on us. He still loves us and is patient with us. We can be patient with ourselves as well.

 

Patient, not Permissive

Now, please don’t misunderstand. Romans 6:1-2 says, “Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means!” Being patient with ourselves when we sin, doesn’t mean we are granted permission to sin. God’s patience with us is not a license to sin. Neither should our own patience be. 

 

The point is simply that since we are growing and are not perfect yet (Philippians 3:12), we will stumble and fall. When we do, patience doesn’t tell us not to care and just stay on the ground wallowing in the mud. Patience says to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, pick up our cross and keep walking. Or rather, it tells us to let God pick us up, clean us off, give us our cross, and keep walking with Him.

 

I don’t know what has been happening in your life. I don’t know what struggles you have or what failures you’ve made. All I know is this, if you love God, He is working on you. Be patient with Him. Be patient with yourself. Love is patient. Why not love yourself today, cut yourself some slack. Be patient. You’ll make it. God has promised you will.

 

Come back next week, we’ll learn about being kind to ourselves.

We Don’t Have to Earn God’s Love

April 26, 2010 in Christian living, God's Love, God's Way for Our Lives, Love with 0 Comments

love by Shanissinha 1 We Dont Have to Earn Gods LoveA few weeks ago, we started what I think is an extremely important and yet misunderstood topic: Loving Ourselves. We are allowed to do that. Two weeks ago, we noticed that as unlovable as we may see ourselves, we need to simply trust God who looks at us and loves us.

 

Having heard that God really does love us, we can easily start running through the mental gymnastics of the devil as he tries to convince us that God does not love us, in fact could not love us because we are so bad. With that mindset, we often start trying to earn God’s love. We decide that in order to get God to love us we need to read our Bibles more, pray more, sin less, teach more, attend congregational assemblies more, and on and on the list may go. We seem to think that if we make ourselves better, then we might become worthy of God’s love.

 

I John 4:7-9 says, “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.”

 

Consider what this says. That love of God is not based on anything we do. God doesn’t love us because of anything we’ve done, but because He is love. That means God won’t stop loving us because of anything we do, because He is love. He manifested that love eternally by sending His Son to die for us. He died for us even while we were sinners and doing nothing worthy of that love. 

 

What does that mean for us? It means there is not one single thing we can do today to make God love us any more. At the same time, it means there is not one single thing we can do today to make God love us any less. We don’t have to try to earn it. We don’t have to fear losing that love. 

 

Once we recognize that, how can we not love God ourselves? Because of that love we will want to draw closer to Him through Bible reading, prayer, spending time with God’s children, avoiding sin, etc. If we do sin, we can recognize God still loves us and instead of running from God, we can run to God, confessing our sin and accepting the forgiveness He has promised.

 

If God would love us like this despite all we’ve done, we can love us too.

 

Keep coming back. Next week, we’ll start looking at I Corinthians 13:4-7 to see what it means to love ourselves properly according to God’s will.

God Loves You Today, So Should You

April 12, 2010 in Christian living, God's Love, God's Way for Our Lives, Love with 2 Comments

love by Shanissinha God Loves You Today, So Should YouLast Monday, I introduced a topic about loving ourselves. That doesn’t seem to be as hot of a topic as what I’ve said about Christians and politics, but I think it is a great deal more needed.


Even having seen a biblical basis for loving ourselves, we can still believe we are just unlovable. Sure, you may think I’m a cuddly sort of fellow. I’m nice enough. I’ve probably usually spoken to you with kindness. But if you actually knew me. If I laid out my history before you, you’d run screaming. If I told you some of the things that have been in my head, you would flee, flapping your arms about your head trying to ward off the craziness. The problem is, I do know me. I know what I’ve thought about. I know what I’ve done. Regrettably, I can’t run away from it. It’s always with me.


Do you know that same feeling?


I can’t speak for everyone else in the world. I don’t know what everyone else would do if they learned about who you really are when the masks come off. But I can share with you what God said. God knew your entire history. God knows every thought you’ve ever had. God knew every mistake, every failure, every sin. He knew every lie. He knew every lust. He knew every theft. He knew every immorality. He knew every covetousness. He knew every arrogance. He knew every judgment. He knew every hurt. He knew every betrayal. He knew it all. There is not one thing you have kept hidden from Him. He knew it all before you were even here.


Do you know what He did even though He knew every bit of that? He loved you. He looked at you and said, “There is someone I can love.” And He sent Jesus to die for you so you might be forgiven and set free from all that wrong. Romans 5:6-8 says, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person–though perhaps for a good person one would are even to die–but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

So, before you start hating on yourself today, stop and think about what God did for you even though He knew everything you did. If God can love you, then you must be pretty lovable. Why not love yourself too?

[EDIT] As per Michelle’s request: A Link to my sermon entitled “Worth a Son”

Thanks for the suggestion, Michelle.

Imperfect Christians Aren’t Bad Christians

January 7, 2010 in Christian living, communication, Forgiveness, Giving Feedback, God's Love, God's Way for Our Congregations, Growth, Making Mistakes, Overcoming Sin, parenting with 3 Comments

shame Imperfect Christians Arent Bad ChristiansWhen a child spills some milk what do you do? Do you yell and scream at him as if he is a worthless, flawed, failure? I hope not. That little child is imperfect and makes mistakes. To treat him like he has no value or is less-than when he makes a mistake is not good. Instead, show him how to clean up his mess. Talk him through how and why the mess was made so he might avoid the same mistake in the future.

 

What about when a child says a cuss word? Do you yell and scream at her as if she is a worthless, flawed, failure who is making you look like a bad parent? I hope not. That child is imperfect and makes mistakes. To treat her like she has no value or is less-than when she makes a mistake is not good. Instead, you talk to her about language. You help her establish boundaries for the kinds of words she uses and strive to pass on your values regarding the words we speak.

 

That makes sense to us regarding our kids. But what about our brethren? What about members of our congregation? What do we do when we know one of our brethren lied, lusted, cheated, stole, etc.? Do we yell and scream at them as if they are worthless, flawed, failures who are making your church look bad? Do we shame them, making them jump through hoops to feel forgiven? Do we treat them as if they are less-than? Do we look down on them as if they aren’t quite as spiritual as us? I hope not. That brother or sister is imperfect. They make mistakes. They will sin. To treat them like they are less-than, to shame them, to bitterly and harshly treat them is just not good. How dare we who are just as imperfect and just as sinful treat our brethren as if we are better than they are when we talk to them about their sins.

 

Perhaps this is why Paul told us to restore those caught in any trespass with gentleness (Galatians 6:1).

 

Certainly, if someone is living in utter rebellion, harsh rebuke may become necessary. However, to treat other growing Christians as if they are bad Christians just because they aren’t perfect (just like we aren’t perfect) is wrong. Do you know what Jesus did for that brother or sister when He learned about their sins? He died for them.

 

Think about that the next time you need to talk to a brother or sister about sin in their life. That may help you talk to them God’s way.

 

Remember, God’s Way Works!

For Dad So Loved His Family That He…

December 8, 2009 in A Springboard for Your Family Life, Fathers, God's Love, Raising Kids with 0 Comments

john 3 16 For Dad So Loved His Family That He...John 3:16 is probably the most well-known and oft-quoted verse in the Bible (except perhaps Matthew 7:1). We all know it: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” That verse provides great comfort and encouragement for me. However, it hit me a little different today. 

My heavenly Father loved me so much, He gave His only begotten Son so I might live. That made me wonder, if my kids were writing a book what might they be able to say about me.

“Dad so loved us kids that he…”

What would they say?

I don’t have much to add to that right now. I just wanted you thinking about it too.

Believing in the God of the Psalmists, Part 10: God is Love

July 13, 2009 in A Springboard for Your Spiritual Life, God's Love, Prayer, praying like the psalmists, psalms with 0 Comments

prayer Believing in the God of the Psalmists, Part 10: God is Love(If you are stumbling across this for the first time, you may want to start at the beginning of the series and work your way through the links at the end of each post.  Or check out the index for this entire series of posts. We’ve learned so much about the psalmists and their relationship with God. I hope today’s is no exception.)

God is Love

A popular modern approach to God as revealed in the Bible is to change God between the testaments. Folks look at the God of the Old Testament as a harsh, legalistic, sometimes mean, sometimes brutal, judging God. Then they come to the New Testament and say all that has changed. Now, God is a God of love. He doesn’t judge, He is never harsh. He just wants us to know how much He loves us.

However, that doesn’t mesh with the Psalmists view of God at all. Despite the brutal judgment God sometimes administered, the Psalmists were completely sure that God was a God of love. The psalmists mention God’s love 123 times. Consider just a few of the statements.

  • God’s steadfast love is precious (Psalm 36:7).
  • We enter His house through His steadfast love (Psalm 5:7).
  • He delivers us for the sake of His steadfast love (Psalm 6:4).
  • He is merciful and forgets our sins because of His steadfast love (Psalm 25:6-7).
  • His steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts Him (Psalm 32:10).
  • His steadfast love endures all day (Psalm 52:1).
  • God answers our pleas because of His steadfast love (Psalm 69:16).
  • His steadfast love holds us up when we think we’ll slip (Psalm 94:18).
  • His steadfast love endures forever (Psalm 100:5).

This story of God’s love crescendoes in Psalm 136. Here the Psalmist repeats “For his steadfast love endures forever” 26 times. In fact, this was most certainly a liturgical psalm used in public assemblies and worship for the Jews. The priest or officiate would say the first line of each couplet and the congregation would shout the refrain–”For his steadfast love endures forever.” What an amazing experience that must have been, hearing the entire congregation praise God for his love as the stories of God’s love were repeated to them.

No doubt, the psalmists were sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes hurt, sometimes angry, sometimes lonely, sometimes joyful, sometimes bitter. But they always knew God loved them.

How can we not pray to a God whose steadfast love for us endures forever, no matter who we are, where we come from, or what we’ve done?

Whatever you do today, don’t forget–God Loves You!

(I think we’re going to take a little break from this study of the Psalms. But keep your eyes open, in a few weeks we’ll get back to them and start learning to look at ourselves the way the Psalmists did.)

Believing in the God of the Psalmists, Part 7: God Is My Rock

June 23, 2009 in A Springboard for Your Spiritual Life, God's Love, Prayer, praying like the psalmists, psalms with 0 Comments

rock 199x300 Believing in the God of the Psalmists, Part 7: God Is My Rock(For those keeping track of the days, I know Monday is supposed to be our Springboard for Your Spiritual Life. I spent half of yesterday at the tire store getting tires and alignment on the Suburban. Despite being told I was on the network, I couldn’t access the internet. Then, just when I was going to get to make it to the office and put up my posts, Ryan, my seven-year-old, had a bike accident and I had to get him to the ER for stitches. He’s fine, just scraped up, thanks for asking. So, I’m putting up yesterday’s post now and will add in today’s Springboard for Your Family Life later today.)

Praying Like the Psalmists

If you are stumbling across this for the first time, you may want to start at the beginning of the series and work your way through the links at the end of each post.  Or check out the index for this entire series of posts. We’ve learned so much about the psalmists and their relationship with God. I hope today’s is no exception.

Believing in the God of the Psalmists: God Is My Rock

Psalm 18:1-3 portrays it perfectly:

I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
and I am saved from my enemies.

This is, perhaps, the most important aspect of the Psalmists’ belief in God. God was not simply an ethereal being out in the obscure heavens. He was a very real presence.

They viewed life as a battle. They were at war. The enemy pressed around on all sides. But they had a refuge, a place where they could find comfort, protection, strength. That place was God. They did not rely on their own strength. They did not rely on the strength of men. They relied on God.

The heading of Psalm 18 claims it was written on the day when David was delivered from his enemies, including Saul. What a great story that was. David refused to lift a finger against Saul because he was God’s anointed. Yet, God brought David the victory. David may have fled to other kingdoms. He may have hidden in caves. He may have gathered soldiers. But he knew none of this was his real strength and protection, God was. Without God, the kings, caves, and soldiers would have done him on good.

Letting God be Our Rock

If God is our rock, we trust Him. We do what He says just because He said it, even when we don’t understand why. If He is our protection, we just rely on Him. 

If we will ever pray as the psalmists did, we must surrender ourselves to God as they did. When David refused to strike Saul, he did so against what seemed wise. He did so against the advice of his friends and supporters. They even tried to get David to see it was a sign from God to strike down Saul. But David surrendered to God’s word. He would not strike God’s anointed. That meant his enemy would live and hunt him longer. What great faith David demonstrated there.

Who is your enemy? What is your oppression? Take your eyes off of those things and focus them on God. What is God’s will for you today? What has He said in His word about your life? Do that. Just do that. Trust God to protect you. He is the your rock, your redeemer, your deliverer, your strong and mighty tower. 

Certainly, to the world you will look foolish. Certainly, they will mock you and claim what you are doing is useless. In the end, God’s way works, even if it doesn’t work the way we expected. Let God be your protector. Quit relying on your own strength and start relying on God’s. Let go in faith and put your hand in His. He will take care of you.

Our Rock and Our Prayer

Whoever we rely on is who we’ll pray to. If we simply rely on ourselves, prayer will always be a struggle. It will never be anything more than a checklist to-do item that we intend to get to but keep putting off. If we rely on parents, we will constantly be appealing to them. If we rely on government, they will receive our constant requests. If we rely on friends, we will latch ourselves on to them and not let go. However, when we see God as the source of our protection, comfort, and victory, prayer will just happen.

How can we not pray when we believe God is the only way we’ll make it through the day victorious? As long as we think we’ve got our lives under control or could if we just tried harder, we’ll struggle with prayer. The days we see God as our only hope, we’ll pray like the psalmists.

Maybe you’re struggling with that. Then let me give you the one piece of advice that has really helped me–”Act as if.” If you can’t quite say it is completely true that you can only truly survive if you rely on God today, then act as if you believed that. How would you pray then? How would you act? How would you treat others? Do that and see if the real faith doesn’t start growing.

If we want to pray like the psalmists, we have to believe in their God. Their God was their rock. He must be ours as well.

(Don’t forget to come back next week when we talk about the psalmists view of God as the shepherd.)

What Is It Like To Give Your Only Son?

February 9, 2009 in A Springboard for Your Spiritual Life, God's Love, Overcoming Sin, Videos with 0 Comments

I posted this video on my congregation’s website last week. It moves me so much, I wanted to put it here as well. I hope you enjoy and are moved by your spiritual springboard today.

God, the Love (an excerpt)

October 20, 2008 in A Springboard for Your Spiritual Life, God's Love, My Books with 0 Comments

Walks with God

walks with god cover1 God, the Love (an excerpt)

Check out the book today!

Getting our Bearings

“God is love.”

The Romans had cupid and Venus. The Greeks had Eros and Aphrodite. The Etruscans had Alpan, Turan and Uni. The Mesopotamians had Ishtar. The Canaanites had Anath. The Norse had Astrild, Freya and Sjofn. The Egyptians had Qadesh and Qetesh.

In one way or another, each of these gods and goddesses were connected to love by the people who believed in them. Their special province was love. However, the gods and goddesses themselves may not always be very loving. They were like all the gods and goddesses of the pagans–fickle; their devotion had to be won by some merit of the men and women who called on them.

That is not our God. When John said, “God is love,” he didn’t mean God had some special province oer love or some special attachment to those who love. He meant God is love. God’s very nature is love.

No doubt, this boggles our minds. The God who is a consuming fire, is also love. The God who brings judgment on sinners, loves those very sinners. We struggle to see how both can be true at the same time. Let’s not struggle, let us merely accept what God says of Himself. However, this should really not be all that difficult to understand. In fact, it is very much like our parenting. I love my children very much. I imagine if you have children, you love them too. However, we discipline our children for their own good and when they rebel, we punish them. Why then is it so hard to understand our heavenly Father is at the same time a consuming fire and love?

John’s point was to explain why God loves us. The pagan gods and goddesses loved their devotees because they were pretty, rich, smart or had offered good enough sacrifices. Jehovah God, however, love us because He is love, because love is His very nature. Some parents love their children when they do well in school, when they are good at sports, when they are pretty or when they act just like the parent. But not our Heavenly Father. He loves us because He is love.

No matter our looks, wealth, health, strength, physical prowess or even holiness, God loves us. No doubt, God will not accept us if we sin without repentance. He will punish us because He is a consuming fire if we rebel, but all the while He loves us. We know that because I John 4:9 says God sent His Son so we might live through Him. Romans 5:6-8 says God sent His Son while we were ungodly, sinful enemies.

He did not accept us while sinfully rebellious. He did not just save us in our sins. He is a consuming fire. He couldn’t abide with that. However, He is also love. Therefore, though we were rebellious, He sent His Son that we might have the means of salvation. That is love. Can you imagine providing the very means by which everyone who has ever hurt, betrayed or victimized you can be forgiven? That is God’s love.

This is the God we adore. The creating ruler/judge who is a consuming fire is also love. Therefore, despite our rebellion He provided a way of escape from our rebellion so we might be saved and enjoy the benefits of His love.

 

Hand in Hand

If we are going to walk hand in hand with the God who is love, we need to remember that love. We need to remember God has displayed His love in no uncertain terms.

Sadly, too many Christians have been turned from God by the devil’s lies. Satan wants us to believe God doesn’t love us. One way of accomplishing this is to make us suffer. Job is one extreme example. Satan was sure if God moved the hedges of safety, Job would curse God. We can argue about whether or not Job ever sinned within the book; we can’t, however argue with the fact that Job never cursed God and up to the end, Job knew his salvation came from God. he knew who was His redeemer. he continued to hope in God even at his lowest.

Paul addressed this issue in Romans 8:35-39:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. for I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This passage recognizes that Christians will face distress, persecution, famine and danger. We will get sick. Our loved ones get sick. We may get fired from our jobs. We may get hurt in accidents. We may get cancer, diabetes, heart disease. We may endure strokes, heart attacks and car wrecks. Enemies will attack us. Friends will betray us. Even our brethren will let us down. Satan has one goal in all this. He wants us to doubt God’s love. He wants us to get upset with God and turn our back on Him.

We need to remember God has already shown His love and nothing else will change that. God doesn’t have to heal our cancer to show His love for us. He doesn’t have to steer our car away from a wreck to say He loves us. he doesn’t have to find us a job when we first ask to demonstrate His love. He sent His Son to die for us while we were undeserving sinners. What more could He do to say, “I love you”?

Do not let Satan block your view of Jesus on the cross. He will try. No matter what you face, look to Jesus. I believe this is one of the reasons the Bible indicates we should take the Lord’s Supper every first day of the week. We need the constant reminder. God loves me this much. He loved me so much he shed His own Son’s blood on the cross. He offered up His own Son’s flesh as a sacrifice. 

If we are going to walk hand in hand with God, we need to envision Jesus on that cross every day. We must not let Satan hinder that vision.

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