Okay, we’ve had a couple of heavy days. Now that it is Friday, let’s just have some good clean fun, and see if we can get a moral out of it too. Enjoy this video from Worship House Media about having a servant’s heart.
Bless her little servant’s heart, I just don’t think she gets it. See a modern day pharisee blowing her trumpet on her volunteer corner.
If you can’t see the video in your RSS or E-mail subscriber feed, click here to go to the post.
I’m reading Jim Burns’ book, Creating an Intimate Marriage
It took me a very long time in my marriage to understand that Cathy didn’t need me to fix her problems. All she wanted was for me to care. My natural tendency is to be a fix-it person. I would get fully engaged with whatever her problem was and immediately start looking for the cure. What Cathy would rather have had was a sympathetic hug and a sense that I understood and cared about her. After I became comfortable in not always trying to be her fix-it man, I realized it was much easier on our relationship to simply let her know I value her feelings.
I’m sure, husbands, this isn’t the first time you’ve heard this. It wasn’t for me either. But even though I’ve heard this over and over and over again, I keep missing it. Somehow, I think it is my job to fix her or her problems. I want to be her knight in shining armor who rides in to sweep her away from all that troubles her, destroying her would-be attackers with my cleverness. But my job is not to fix her. That is God’s job. My job is nourish and cherish her (Ephesians 5:28-29).
When my wife is stressed about about something, even if it causes her to blow up at me, what is my job? Is my job to point out all the things she did wrong that caused this? That may be my natural reaction, but that is not my job. My job is to let her know that she is really doing a great job as a wife and mother, to let her know that what she feels is valid and acceptable, and to let her know that I love her anyway. I can do that through my words or my actions or, preferably, both.
When I come home and she’s had a bad day with the kids (imagine that, having a tough day because you’re dealing with a 13-year-old, a 10-year-old, an 8-year-old, and a 2-year-old) and she starts unloading her frustrations, my natural reaction is to get defensive and start unloading back or to try to calmly explain what she did wrong all day to cause all this frustration. Guess what I’ve learned. Neither of those options ever work. First, it doesn’t relieve her frustration. Second, it doesn’t bring us closer. Third, it usually ruins the whole evening. Fourth, even on the rare occassion when I’m right about why she is frustrated, it doesn’t help her at all. Yet, over and over again, that is the way I respond. Has anyone read that definition about insanity lately?
So, here’s what I’m going to start trying to do. Hold me accountable on this one fellows (and ladies). When that happens, I want to give my wife a big hug. I want to let her cry on my shoulder if that is what she’s feeling. I want to let her know that I can tell things have been tough for her and I’m sorry about that. I want to let her know that I love her and I really do think she is a great wife and mother (I do think that). I want to see if I can take something off of her plate so the rest of her day can be easier. And I’m going to do all of that without expecting anything* in return.
What do you think? Do you think that might have a better impact on our marriage? I’m guessing it will. The fact is, my wife is pretty smart. She doesn’t generally need me to fix her problems. She can usually come up with pretty good solutions on her own. She just needs someone to let her know that having a bad day doesn’t mean she’s a bad wife and mother. It means she’s pretty normal and I love her anyway.
Alright guys, who will take on this challenge with me? Let’s quit trying to fix our wives and start turn our great ability to fix things on to fixing how we treat our wives even when they don’t act exactly the way we want.
Have a great day and remember God’s way really does work for your family.
ELC
*When I say anything, I really mean sex.
(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one. By the way, please check out the site for the Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and help promote the foundation by purchasing any of the Life’s More Interesting products. By the way, unlike the other links in this post, there is no affiliation link here. None of your purchases of these products grease my pockets.)
The final post is here. I appreciate your patience with me and I hope my tribute to Kelsey Harris has benefited you as much as it has benefited me. I’ve enjoyed thinking about these challenging resolutions. I’ve grown through writing about them. I hope you’ve grown through reading about them. I certainly believe Kelsey wrote something worth reading. I hope I’ve taken her message and added to them. I hope I’ve written something worth reading and I hope you feel you have read something worth sharing. Please tell others about this amazing little poem packed with all kinds of meaning. I believe it will be a help to others.
And now, on to the post:
Today, I want to…
Write something worth reading
Read something worth sharing
Say something worth repeating
Give something worth getting
Choose something worth keeping
Sacrifice something worth giving up
Go somewhere worth seeing
Eat something worth tasting
Hug someone worth holding
Buy something worth treasuring
Cry tears worth shedding
Do something worth watching
Risk something worth protecting
Listen to something worth hearing
Teach something worth learning
Why do I want to do all these things? Because I want to be someone worth knowing.
I don’t want to be someone who is known. I want to be someone worth knowing. Granted, I may be known if knowing me is worthwhile. But my goal is not notoriety or fame. My goal is to be someone that when you know me, you think it is worthwhile. I want to be someone you are glad to know. I want to be someone you are glad to be around. I want to be someone who lifts up and fills up, not tears down and drains out. I want to be someone you see coming and you run up to meet, not someone you cross the street to avoid.
I don’t want to be the person, however, that is intent on letting you know I’m worth knowing. We all know that guy. He is forever trying to impress us with his knowledge, achievements, work. He can’t stop talking about what he did. He can’t help giving unsolicited advice or trying to correct something you didn’t even know was incorrect. I don’t want to be the guy who is personally convinced he is worth knowing. In fact, if I am worth knowing, I’ll probably always have a bit of that idea that I’m not quite worth knowing yet.
No, I don’t want to be the guy who wants to impress you with how worth knowing I am. I want to be the person who lets you know how worth knowing you are. I want to be the person who can see your unique gifts and talents and help you become all that you can be. I want to be the guy who can help you on your path to glorify God and be with Him forever. I want to be the guy who you want walking on the path with you so we can mutually help each other along and be happy we are doing it.
But how? How do I get to be a person worth knowing? Do I think I can stumble along through life and suddenly one day I’ll be there? Do I think if I simply react to the ebbs and flows of life’s tides that I’ll become someone worth knowing by accident? It just won’t work that way. That’s where the other resolutions come in. When I read these other resolutions, I see four overarching principles at work that make me someone worth knowing.
1. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is maintaining.
I know it sounds odd, but before I become someone that you may think is worth knowing, I have to be comfortable with me. I have to take care of me. No, I don’t mean this in a selfish way of getting mine first. I mean this in a way that says I can’t give what I don’t have. I can’t be for you what I’m not for myself. Until I learn how to receive, I’ll never know how to give.
Have you ever noticed in the maturity process God has us all start off as someone who has to be completely cared for by others, then takes us to a place where we learn to take care of ourselves? Only then does He take us into a stage of taking care of others.
If I want to be someone worth knowing, I have to start with making sure I’m comfortable with me and I’m maintaining me. That’s why I choose things worth keeping, buy things worth treasuring, and even cry tears worth shedding. These all have to do with taking care of me physically and emotionally and letting me be in a place of peace and strength so I can then be a strength for you as well.
2. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is growing.
As I said, if I’m really worth knowing, I’ll probably always have the personal feeling that I’m not quite worth knowing yet. I still have growing to do. To be worth knowing, I shouldn’t work on you to convince you I’m worth knowing; I should work on me to grow to be worth knowing.
That’s why I continue to read things worth sharing, go places worth seeing, listen to things worth hearing. This is how I grow. I get outside myself and realize I don’t have it all down. I don’t have all wisdom and knowledge. I need to hear what God has to say. I need to hear what others have to say. I need to experience new places and new things. I need to be filled by those who have gone before me before I can fill anyone else.
I hate to be a broken record, but I can’t give what I don’t have. To give you more, I have to grow more.
3. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is daring.
I think of the old Garth Brooks song, “The River.” The second verse says:
Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
‘Til we put off ‘til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don’t you sit upon the shoreline
And say you’re satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.
If I’m just satisfied with reacting to what is happening to me, I’ll never be worth knowing. I’ll be just another member of the teeming masses of mediocrity. I don’t want to be just another acquaintance you’ve made over the years. I want to be someone worth knowing. That means I’ll have to take some chances.
That’s why I risk things worth protecting. That’s why I strive to do things worth watching. Let’s face it, anytime I step up to do something and let others watch, I’m risking failure and rejection. That’s why I eat things worth tasting. Remember, that isn’t just about satiating hunger. That is about experiencing new things. That is about reaching out with an adventurous spirit to go beyond my comfort zone.
If I want to be someone worth knowing, I’m going to have to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide. Otherwise, I’ll only sit along the shoreline getting wet from the spray of others who are making a splash.
4. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is caring.
There are some who don’t care. They just want fame and fortune. They walk on others to clamber their way to the top. If they do for others, they are really only doing for themselves. They are manipulating to get to their ends. However, if I really want to be someone worth knowing, I move from selfishness to selflessness. I have learned to maintain myself so well that I’m willing to give myself in the service of others without fear that I will be lost in the process.
Think of how many of these resolutions are really about others. I want to write things worth reading. I want to say things worth repeating. I want to give things worth getting. I want to hug someone worth holding. I want to cry tears worth shedding. I want to teach things worth learning. I want to sacrifice things worth giving up. None of those resolutions are really about me. They are about me giving to you. I can’t be someone worth knowing if I only think of me, if I’m only trying to line my pockets, further my fame, or popularize my name.
However, when I’m ready to give of myself to help you grow, then I’ll be someone you want to know.
Perhaps it is too much to ask to accomplish all these resolutions every day. However, as I work on each of them, I am growing to be someone worth knowing. That’s what I want to be today and every day.
(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one. By the way, please check out the site for the Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and help promote the foundation by purchasing any of the Life’s More Interesting products. By the way, unlike the other links in this post, there is no affiliation link here. None of your purchases of these products grease my pockets.)
I feel like a broken record. With the last few posts in this series I’ve had to apologize for the huge gap between posts. The real truth is, these have been the hardest posts to write. There is so much in Kelsey’s poem for me that it takes a great deal of time. It’s not just a thought popping in my mind that I can expound briefly on in a few minutes. This takes real work. I hope they are helpful to you as thinking about them have been helpful to me. Here is the latest post.
What work could possibly be more noble than to pass on what we know, what we have experienced, what we have learned? What calling could be higher than to be the shoulders on which others can stand as they reach to even greater heights? Today, that is who I want to be. I want to be a teacher, but not just any teacher. I want to teach something worth learning. I may do this in a classroom, but I don’t have to be employed by the state or the local university to teach something worth learning. I can accomplish this whether I am a professor or preacher or parent or clerk or custodian or cabbie. I may work in a plant or work with plants. I may be an employer or the newest employee. I can still teach something worth learning.
What I Don’t Want to Teach
Teach something worth learning. I can’t read this without noticing what is not said.
I don’t want to teach something that will make me look good or make me popular. I don’t want to teach something everybody likes. I don’t want to teach something that will make me lots of money.
I can simply strive to fit in with all the latest theories, pursue political correctness, tout the party lines. But what good is that? Will that push us further? Will that challenge us to be better? Will that inspire us to be great? No, that will only cause us to implode with our own sense of self-importance.
No doubt, there are multiple sides to this. Nothing I teach will make me popular or look good to everyone. No matter what I teach, someone will be unhappy with me. However, for some reason, each of us find our little group that we want to please. Because there are plenty who don’t like what we teach, we think we are just teaching what is worth learning. However, if we are not careful, even when we don’t accept the popular thinking of the world we become limited by the popular thinking of our niche market, we may go along just to get along with the people who have always liked us. We may find ourselves unwilling to question the traditions of our teachers or the positions of our peers. We may eventually stake out some ground we will protect at all costs. But who is helped by that? At that point, we have our ground covered but that ground has become just a rut. We’re not going anywhere.
I can become a hack. I can figure out what people want to hear, what people will pay to hear, what people will flock to hear and teach those things. But let’s face it; few things worth learning are ever popular at first. Usually, what is worth learning is challenging, life-changing, paradigm shifting. Those are all painful processes. Those who first hear them will rebel against them. If I take the easy way out and just teach what folks want to hear, who is helped? I have to stay the course and teach what is worth learning no matter how it is first received, no matter how it is ever received.
No doubt, if I teach well, no matter what I teach, I may become popular in some circles. I may look good for my ability. Folks may be intrigued and pay money to hear what I teach. But that is not the goal and if I become enamored with those ends, I’ll stop teaching things worth learning. I don’t want to teach what makes me look good, popular, or rich. I want to teach something worth learning.
Not Just Teaching, Serving
Sadly, some will read this resolution and miss its true impact. This is not just about being a teacher. This resolution is profound because it is about being a servant. If I wanted to teach something that would make me look good or make me money, that would be about me. But when my goal is to pass on things worth learning, what I’m most concerned about is others.
I’ll never accomplish this goal if I’m selfish. When I’m selfish I pull everything I can to myself. I rape the world of its knowledge and manipulate it so I can get what I want. I may teach a lot of things with this selfish mindset, but I won’t teach things worth learning. Not really. I like what John Maxwell says about this, “We teach what we know; we reproduce what we are.” The fact is, with a selfish mindset I may say things that might be worth learning, but that’s not what people will learn. What they’ll get, no matter what I say, is what I am. What they’ll become is not what they hear, but what they see and experience in me.
Before I can teach things worth learning, I have to be a servant. I have to get rid of my self-centeredness. If for no other reason than teaching takes time. Teaching is time invested in others. And if I’m teaching things worth learning, I’ll be investing time in others to make them better, not to make them make me better. If my primary goal is about getting, I’ll never give what others really need to learn.
Start with Me
Teaching something worth learning is not about me. However, it has to start with me. Before I can teach
something worth learning, I have to learn something worth teaching. Have you ever taken an airplane flight? Do you remember what the flight attendant told you? If the cabin depressurizes and the breathing masks fall, don’t put someone else’s on first. Put your own mask on first and then help those around you. I can’t give what I don’t have. Further, if I don’t have and I try to give, there will be a reckoning. I can pretty up what someone else says and pass it on as if I’m a great teacher, but sooner or later it will shine through that I’m a fake.
Think of it like money. If my bank balance is on zero, I can write checks all day long. I can give and give and give, but when it comes time to cash those checks, I’m going to be in trouble. The same is true with teaching. If I haven’t taken the time to learn and I try to teach, there will be a reckoning and it won’t be pretty. It will hurt my students and they may come and hurt me.
Further, I must demonstrate that I know something worth learning. I don’t mean I need to get in a marketing campaign to let everyone know how wonderfully smart I am. However, if I want the opportunity to teach something worth learning, then others will have to see that I know something they want to learn. I can’t help but think of Jesus and His apostles in Luke 11:1. The disciples asked Him to teach them to pray. Why? Because they saw how He prayed and they wanted to learn. I don’t just get to teach because I was hired. I don’t just get to teach because I’m older than my kids. I really only get to teach when someone has seen that I know something they want to learn. Oh, I may say a lot of stuff. I may lecture and demonstrate, but I’m not really teaching unless others have determined that I have something they want to learn.
If I wanted to, I could buy a book on auto-mechanics. I could probably offer a great lecture, complete with compelling PowerPoint on fixing cars. However, if you really want to know how to fix cars, don’t come to me. Go to my friend, Dale. He’s actually spent some time working on cars. He’s actually fixed cars. I’ve only messed them up. If I really want to teach something, I need to spend time working on me first. I need to spend time learning something worth teaching.
What is Worth Learning?
I’m sure we all have different perspectives on what is worth learning. Not to mention, my perspective on what is worth learning has changed over the years. I fear providing a list of subjects because by this time next year, my list might have changed. Instead, I’ll provide four guidelines.
1. Is it true?
If what I’m saying isn’t true, then it simply isn’t worth learning. Why would I teach 2+2=5? It’s just not true. Now don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying everything I teach has to be factual. Teaching doesn’t have to be factual to be true. For instance, when Jesus taught His famous parables, none of them were factual. He wasn’t talking about a factual sower who sowed in four areas and received four different results. However, His message was true. I need to make sure what I’m teaching is true. I shouldn’t simply jump on the bandwagon with something just because I like it or it fits with what I’ve always thought. I need to test it. If I want to teach something worth learning, it needs to be true.
2. Is it helpful?
Some things might be true, but so what? What if someone was actually able to provide the true answer to the question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Who cares? I may learn the right answer to that question and shout it from the roof tops, but is it really worth learning? Was it really worth a learner’s time to listen to my calculations, proofs, and arguments? Or have I wasted their time? Stuff worth learning is worth living. If I really want to teach something worth learning, it needs to be something helpful.
3. Does it make people better?
I guess this is simply expanding the first point. However, I want to expand it. I know I have been too often caught up in the rat race. I went to school so I could learn things so I could get a job so I could make money so I could buy things. That seems to be the pretty standard practice in our culture. We learn so we can earn. But should that really be the goal of learning? Is money really what it’s all about? Do I really just go to school for a short period in life so I can get a career based on that learning? I think there is higher purpose. I need to learn so I can be a better person. I need to learn so I can be a more productive citizen. I need to learn so I can give more to my community and my fellow man. That doesn’t stop with a Bachelor’s degree and a steady job. That continues for life. Thus, if I’m actually going to teach something worth learning, it is not just about getting someone a job. It needs to be about making them a better person. I tend to believe when the world is filled with better people, the job market will take care of itself.
4. Does it inspire?
For far too many, teaching is about conveying facts. Can we fill someone else’s head with information that they can regurgitate later? Perhaps that is a form of teaching, but of what use is it. Life isn’t a standardized test. Things worth learning inspire learners to live them. If I want to teach something worth learning, it needs to be inspiring.
Conclusion
I want to be of service today. I want to get outside myself today. I want to help others today. Today, I want to teach something worth learning. I hope I’ve accomplished that goal with this post.
(Come back next week for our final post in this series: Be Someone Worth Knowing.)
Yes, you read the title of this post properly. I’ve decided I’m going to quit trying to go to heaven and I urge you to do the same. This has been a bit of a process for me. I’ve been struggling with this concept of going to heaven for a while now, but I’ve finally come to a conclusion.
I can’t do it, so why bother. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get myself to heaven. I can assemble with the saints every time the doors are open. I can give all my money into the collection and anything that is left over to the poor. I can sing all the songs as beautifully and meaningfully as possible. I can avoid big sins like adultery, murder, homosexuality. I can work on the sins I’ve struggled with like lust, angry outbursts, materialism. I can teach a person the gospel every day. I can build a huge tower reaching up to the heavens. It doesn’t matter. I can’t get myself to heaven. In fact, when I do all of that, it seems more like I’m just trying to make a name for myself.
So, I’ve decided to quit trying. I’m giving up on trying to go to heaven. If I go to heaven, it will be because God decided to take me there. I’ll leave my eternal destiny up to His decision. I’m no longer going to try to manipulate His decision.
Instead, today I’m going to work on connecting to God, getting closer to Him, and glorifying Him. Why would I do anything else? This is the God who created a world perfectly suited for me to live. This is the God who gave me life and a body (and the more I learn about this body, the more amazed I am at God’s wisdom and majesty). This is the God who has given me food every day of my life. This is the God who has clothed me. This is the God who has provided me shelter. This is the God who has given me family and friends. More than all of this, however, this is the God who sent His Son to die for me that I could be forgiven of the horrendous sins I’ve committed. This is the God who sacrificed His Son not only so I could be forgiven, but so I could be set free from the enslavement of my sins. This is the God who is sanctifying me and making me righteous because I hunger and thirst for that. How could I do anything but get connect, get closer, and glorify Him? I love Him. How could I not? Look at how He has loved me.
On a practical level, here are ten things this means for me today.
(be careful, if you click that link, it will take you to Amazon.com and if you purchase something while there, you will be helping me out financially) helped me grasp Ephesians 5:22-33 on a deeper level. I’ve learned that nothing will help me become like Christ more than my relationship with Marita. Therefore, nothing can glorify God more than how I approach that relationship. When I love Marita as Jesus loved the church, I proclaim for the world His love. So, I’ll talk to her with love, not disrespectful judgment. I’ll make thoughtful requests, not selfish demands. I’ll bring peace to our relationship, not angry outbursts. I’ll fulfill her needs by the grace and strength of God.I could go on, but I hope you get the point. Today, I’m going to put my eternal destiny in God’s hands. I’ll let Him decide what to do with me for eternity. I’m no longer trying to manipulate Him, impress Him, or earn anything from Him. Today, I just want to get close to Him. I hope as I spend time with Him, I’ll see you hanging around with us.
I got to hear my good friend Max Dawson preach two lessons on leadership yesterday. He reminded me of things I’d read before. He reminded me of things we had talked about before. He increased my understanding of leadership. He asked a question as he closed his lessons that I want to pass on to you.
When you woke up and got dressed this morning, what did you put on? No, I’m not talking about your actual clothes. I don’t care if you’re wearing jeans, shorts, or a suit; a dress, a skirt, or a pantsuit. I’m wanting to know if you put on a bib or an apron.
You see many of us wake up every morning and the first thing we put on is our bib. We want to make sure we stay clean as every one else serves us and provides for us. However, others get up and put on an apron. They are getting ready to get to work and be servants.
Today in my Bible reading over at Give Attention to Reading, I read Luke 22:26 in which Jesus said, “let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves.”
Jesus came to serve and not be served. We need to follow in His footsteps. Growing in Christ doesn’t mean becoming more and more of a boss who gets to tell everyone else what to do. Growing in Christ means becoming more and more of a servant.
So, if you haven’t already done so, get out your apron. Put it on and get to serving.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned “You SHALL Be the Best You.” If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” and follow the successive links.)
“You SHALL go beyond Yourself,” began the PROFESSOR.
“That sounds odd,” Sam interrupted, looking down at the business card again. “It seems to contradict your first statement. First, I’m supposed to be me, now I’m supposed to be more than me? I don’t get it.”
“Yes,” the PROFESSOR replied. “On the surface, they do seem to contradict. However, this statement does not mean we should be more than who we are. Our first SHALL is all about just being ourselves, this one is about thinking about more than ourselves.
“If I might moralize for a moment, I don’t think we are here just to get personal fulfillment out of life. Further, I do not think we get personal fulfillment out of life by seeking our own anyway. I do think we are here to add to our world. I do think we are here to help others be more and do more. The greatest fulfillment I have ever had is when I have given of myself to others.
“Have you ever seen the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus?”
“No,” Sam replied.
“Oh that is too bad,” the PROFESSOR responded. “I’m giving you another homework assignment, go home and watch that movie. Richard Dreyfuss plays the main character, Mr. Holland. At the beginning of it, he is a young musician planning to be famous. He is already working on a symphony that will make him rich. He takes a teaching job to pay the bills and support his composing until he finally hits the big time. At first, he hates teaching. He cannot stand the kids and, frankly, they can’t stand him either. Then his principal rebukes him, pointing out that his job is not just passing on information. It is also providing a compass in life for the kids.
“That starts a change. As the movie continues, he no longer views teaching as a means to get a paycheck so he can do his own thing. Rather, he focuses on the joy of helping the students have breakthroughs. There is more to the movie, but Mr. Holland’s journey is one of becoming a servant. When his work as a teacher ceases to be a self-serving way to make money and pay for his real dream and becomes an opportunity to serve others and make a difference, he really begins to write his own magnum opus.
“Toward the end of the movie, Mr. Holland’s school hits financial difficulties and cuts his department. He sums up his journey saying, ‘It’s almost funny. I got dragged into this gig kicking and screaming and now it’s the only thing I want to do…’
“I will not ruin the movie for you completely. However, this is what I mean by going beyond yourself. If your life is only ever about you, it will be miserable, no matter how much money you make or how far you go. However, if you go beyond yourself to give to others, helping them be more, you will find fulfillment and meaning in life.
“Why do you think Dave reaches out and gives his time to help people like you and me? He understands this point.
“As you think about what you are going to do and how you are going to approach it, it SHOULD not be just about you getting what you want. It SHOULD be about you giving to your family and to your community.
“Really, our society is amazing. We went from the 1960’s when a president who was considered part of the liberal political party told the nation, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country’ to the 1980’s when one of the most conservative of the conservatives ran asking the nation the all important question, ‘Are you better off than you were four years ago?’ We are close to 30 years beyond that now. Some suggest we are riding the pendulum back to a community and service mindset. I hope so. Nevertheless, Sam, if you simply strive to hoard to yourself, your life will be wasted. You SHALL go beyond yourself. You SHALL shamelessly give yourself to others.”
“So, what you’re saying is this:” Sam cut in, “if I really want to have a meaningful life and personal fulfillment, I need to give to others.”
“Yes and no. If you are only giving to others in order to have personal fulfillment, it will not work. That is manipulation and hypocrisy. No, do not give just to receive. Instead, learn to give of yourself to your family and your community simply for the sake of serving others, treating others the way you want to be treated simply because it is the Next Right Thing. If you do that, then, yes, you will have personal fulfillment and a meaningful life. Do not question me too deeply about it. I do not know why it works. I’m merely certain it does.
“You SHALL go beyond yourself by figuring out what your strengths can add to others and to our world. To accomplish this, you have to keep your eyes open. There are opportunities to get beyond ourselves all around us. We just have to be aware. We have to listen. One of the best ways to get beyond yourself is to look around at what bothers you about our world. Then figure out what you can do about it.
“One of the funniest cartoons I have ever seen showed two men sitting at the base of a tree. One says, ‘Sometimes I think I might just go ask God why he doesn’t do anything about all the bad stuff happening.’ The other responded, ‘Why don’t you?’ To which the first replied, ‘I’m always afraid he might ask me the same question.’”
Sam and the PROFESSOR both laughed at this. The PROFESSOR continued, “You need to understand one more aspect of getting beyond yourself. What you do doesn’t always have to be big. It doesn’t have to be on a grand scale. It doesn’t have to be about the whole world. It may just be about one person. Do not be paralyzed thinking you cannot do anything about world hunger; find a person to feed. Do not be overwhelmed thinking about all the children who don’t have great parents; find a child to whom you can be a great father. It might even just be your own child. This is going beyond yourself.”
“Ok,” Sam wanted to sum up what he had heard so far. “I SHALL be the best me I can be by breaking the mold, forgetting others’ prophecies and then pursuing my strengths and my passions, doing the next right thing and apologizing when I blow it. Then I SHALL go beyond myself by using my strengths and my passions to give of myself to others, namely my family and my community.”
“That’s right,” the PROFESSOR nodded, pleased Sam was retaining so much. “Here is some more homework for you.”
(Come back next week as Sam learns “You SHALL Prioritize.”)
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