Archive - Something Worth Doing RSS Feed

Something Worth Doing, Part 18: Be Someone Worth Knowing

December 23, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Growth, Kelsey Harris, Serving, Something Worth Doing with 0 Comments

hugs3 Something Worth Doing, Part 18: Be Someone Worth Knowing(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one. By the way, please check out the site for the Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and help promote the foundation by purchasing any of the Life’s More Interesting products. By the way, unlike the other links in this post, there is no affiliation link here. None of your purchases of these products grease my pockets.)

The final post is here. I appreciate your patience with me and I hope my tribute to Kelsey Harris has benefited you as much as it has benefited me. I’ve enjoyed thinking about these challenging resolutions. I’ve grown through writing about them. I hope you’ve grown through reading about them. I certainly believe Kelsey wrote something worth reading. I hope I’ve taken her message and added to them. I hope I’ve written something worth reading and I hope you feel you have read something worth sharing. Please tell others about this amazing little poem packed with all kinds of meaning. I believe it will be a help to others.

And now, on to the post:

Today, I want to Be Someone Worth Knowing

Today, I want to…

Write something worth reading
Read something worth sharing
Say something worth repeating
Give something worth getting
Choose something worth keeping
Sacrifice something worth giving up
Go somewhere worth seeing
Eat something worth tasting
Hug someone worth holding
Buy something worth treasuring
Cry tears worth shedding
Do something worth watching
Risk something worth protecting
Listen to something worth hearing
Teach something worth learning

Why do I want to do all these things? Because I want to be someone worth knowing.

I don’t want to be someone who is known. I want to be someone worth knowing. Granted, I may be known if knowing me is worthwhile. But my goal is not notoriety or fame. My goal is to be someone that when you know me, you think it is worthwhile. I want to be someone you are glad to know. I want to be someone you are glad to be around. I want to be someone who lifts up and fills up, not tears down and drains out. I want to be someone you see coming and you run up to meet, not someone you cross the street to avoid.

I don’t want to be the person, however, that is intent on letting you know I’m worth knowing. We all know that guy. He is forever trying to impress us with his knowledge, achievements, work. He can’t stop talking about what he did. He can’t help giving unsolicited advice or trying to correct something you didn’t even know was incorrect. I don’t want to be the guy who is personally convinced he is worth knowing. In fact, if I am worth knowing, I’ll probably always have a bit of that idea that I’m not quite worth knowing yet.

No, I don’t want to be the guy who wants to impress you with how worth knowing I am. I want to be the person who lets you know how worth knowing you are. I want to be the person who can see your unique gifts and talents and help you become all that you can be. I want to be the guy who can help you on your path to glorify God and be with Him forever. I want to be the guy who you want walking on the path with you so we can mutually help each other along and be happy we are doing it.

Becoming That Guy

But how? How do I get to be a person worth knowing? Do I think I can stumble along through life and suddenly one day I’ll be there? Do I think if I simply react to the ebbs and flows of life’s tides that I’ll become someone worth knowing by accident? It just won’t work that way. That’s where the other resolutions come in. When I read these other resolutions, I see four overarching principles at work that make me someone worth knowing.

1. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is maintaining.

I know it sounds odd, but before I become someone that you may think is worth knowing, I have to be comfortable with me. I have to take care of me. No, I don’t mean this in a selfish way of getting mine first. I mean this in a way that says I can’t give what I don’t have. I can’t be for you what I’m not for myself. Until I learn how to receive, I’ll never know how to give.

Have you ever noticed in the maturity process God has us all start off as someone who has to be completely cared for by others, then takes us to a place where we learn to take care of ourselves? Only then does He take us into a stage of taking care of others.

If I want to be someone worth knowing, I have to start with making sure I’m comfortable with me and I’m maintaining me. That’s why I choose things worth keeping, buy things worth treasuring, and even cry tears worth shedding. These all have to do with taking care of me physically and emotionally and letting me be in a place of peace and strength so I can then be a strength for you as well.

2. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is growing.

As I said, if I’m really worth knowing, I’ll probably always have the personal feeling that I’m not quite worth knowing yet. I still have growing to do. To be worth knowing, I shouldn’t work on you to convince you I’m worth knowing; I should work on me to grow to be worth knowing.

That’s why I continue to read things worth sharing, go places worth seeing, listen to things worth hearing. This is how I grow. I get outside myself and realize I don’t have it all down. I don’t have all wisdom and knowledge. I need to hear what God has to say. I need to hear what others have to say. I need to experience new places and new things. I need to be filled by those who have gone before me before I can fill anyone else.

I hate to be a broken record, but I can’t give what I don’t have. To give you more, I have to grow more.

3. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is daring.

I think of the old Garth Brooks song, “The River.” The second verse says:

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
‘Til we put off ‘til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don’t you sit upon the shoreline
And say you’re satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide.

If I’m just satisfied with reacting to what is happening to me, I’ll never be worth knowing. I’ll be just another member of the teeming masses of mediocrity. I don’t want to be just another acquaintance you’ve made over the years. I want to be someone worth knowing. That means I’ll have to take some chances.

That’s why I risk things worth protecting. That’s why I strive to do things worth watching. Let’s face it, anytime I step up to do something and let others watch, I’m risking failure and rejection. That’s why I eat things worth tasting. Remember, that isn’t just about satiating hunger. That is about experiencing new things. That is about reaching out with an adventurous spirit to go beyond my comfort zone.

If I want to be someone worth knowing, I’m going to have to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide. Otherwise, I’ll only sit along the shoreline getting wet from the spray of others who are making a splash.

4. To be someone worth knowing, I must be someone who is caring.

There are some who don’t care. They just want fame and fortune. They walk on others to clamber their way to the top. If they do for others, they are really only doing for themselves. They are manipulating to get to their ends. However, if I really want to be someone worth knowing, I move from selfishness to selflessness. I have learned to maintain myself so well that I’m willing to give myself in the service of others without fear that I will be lost in the process.

Think of how many of these resolutions are really about others. I want to write things worth reading. I want to say things worth repeating. I want to give things worth getting. I want to hug someone worth holding. I want to cry tears worth shedding. I want to teach things worth learning. I want to sacrifice things worth giving up. None of those resolutions are really about me. They are about me giving to you. I can’t be someone worth knowing if I only think of me, if I’m only trying to line my pockets, further my fame, or popularize my name.

However, when I’m ready to give of myself to help you grow, then I’ll be someone you want to know.

 

Perhaps it is too much to ask to accomplish all these resolutions every day. However, as I work on each of them, I am growing to be someone worth knowing. That’s what I want to be today and every day.

Something Worth Doing, Part 17: Teach Something Worth Learning

December 9, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Serving, Something Worth Doing, Teaching with 0 Comments

teaching Something Worth Doing, Part 17: Teach Something Worth Learning(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one. By the way, please check out the site for the Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and help promote the foundation by purchasing any of the Life’s More Interesting products. By the way, unlike the other links in this post, there is no affiliation link here. None of your purchases of these products grease my pockets.)

I feel like a broken record. With the last few posts in this series I’ve had to apologize for the huge gap between posts. The real truth is, these have been the hardest posts to write. There is so much in Kelsey’s poem for me that it takes a great deal of time. It’s not just a thought popping in my mind that I can expound briefly on in a few minutes. This takes real work. I hope they are helpful to you as thinking about them have been helpful to me. Here is the latest post.

Today, I want to Teach Something Worth Learning

What work could possibly be more noble than to pass on what we know, what we have experienced, what we have learned? What calling could be higher than to be the shoulders on which others can stand as they reach to even greater heights? Today, that is who I want to be. I want to be a teacher, but not just any teacher. I want to teach something worth learning. I may do this in a classroom, but I don’t have to be employed by the state or the local university to teach something worth learning. I can accomplish this whether I am a professor or preacher or parent or clerk or custodian or cabbie. I may work in a plant or work with plants. I may be an employer or the newest employee. I can still teach something worth learning.

 

What I Don’t Want to Teach

Teach something worth learning. I can’t read this without noticing what is not said.

I don’t want to teach something that will make me look good or make me popular.  I don’t want to teach something everybody likes. I don’t want to teach something that will make me lots of money.

I can simply strive to fit in with all the latest theories, pursue political correctness, tout the party lines. But what good is that? Will that push us further? Will that challenge us to be better? Will that inspire us to be great? No, that will only cause us to implode with our own sense of self-importance.

No doubt, there are multiple sides to this. Nothing I teach will make me popular or look good to everyone. No matter what I teach, someone will be unhappy with me. However, for some reason, each of us find our little group that we want to please. Because there are plenty who don’t like what we teach, we think we are just teaching what is worth learning. However, if we are not careful, even when we don’t accept the popular thinking of the world we become limited by the popular thinking of our niche market, we may go along just to get along with the people who have always liked us. We may find ourselves unwilling to question the traditions of our teachers or the positions of our peers. We may eventually stake out some ground we will protect at all costs. But who is helped by that? At that point, we have our ground covered but that ground has become just a rut. We’re not going anywhere.

I can become a hack. I can figure out what people want to hear, what people will pay to hear, what people will flock to hear and teach those things. But let’s face it; few things worth learning are ever popular at first. Usually, what is worth learning is challenging, life-changing, paradigm shifting. Those are all painful processes. Those who first hear them will rebel against them. If I take the easy way out and just teach what folks want to hear, who is helped? I have to stay the course and teach what is worth learning no matter how it is first received, no matter how it is ever received.

No doubt, if I teach well, no matter what I teach, I may become popular in some circles. I may look good for my ability.  Folks may be intrigued and pay money to hear what I teach. But that is not the goal and if I become enamored with those ends, I’ll stop teaching things worth learning. I don’t want to teach what makes me look good, popular, or rich. I want to teach something worth learning.

 

Not Just Teaching, Serving

Sadly, some will read this resolution and miss its true impact. This is not just about being a teacher. This resolution is profound because it is about being a servant. If I wanted to teach something that would make me look good or make me money, that would be about me. But when my goal is to pass on things worth learning, what I’m most concerned about is others.

I’ll never accomplish this goal if I’m selfish. When I’m selfish I pull everything I can to myself. I rape the world of its knowledge and manipulate it so I can get what I want. I may teach a lot of things with this selfish mindset, but I won’t teach things worth learning. Not really. I like what John Maxwell says about this, “We teach what we know; we reproduce what we are.” The fact is, with a selfish mindset I may say things that might be worth learning, but that’s not what people will learn. What they’ll get, no matter what I say, is what I am. What they’ll become is not what they hear, but what they see and experience in me.

Before I can teach things worth learning, I have to be a servant. I have to get rid of my self-centeredness. If for no other reason than teaching takes time. Teaching is time invested in others. And if I’m teaching things worth learning, I’ll be investing time in others to make them better, not to make them make me better. If my primary goal is about getting, I’ll never give what others really need to learn.

 

Start with Me

Teaching something worth learning is not about me. However, it has to start with me. Before I can teachsomething worth doing poem Something Worth Doing, Part 17: Teach Something Worth Learningsomething worth learning, I have to learn something worth teaching. Have you ever taken an airplane flight? Do you remember what the flight attendant told you? If the cabin depressurizes and the breathing masks fall, don’t put  someone else’s on first. Put your own mask on first and then help those around you. I can’t give what I don’t have. Further, if I don’t have and I try to give, there will be a reckoning. I can pretty up what someone else says and pass it on as if I’m a great teacher, but sooner or later it will shine through that I’m a fake.

Think of it like money. If my bank balance is on zero, I can write checks all day long. I can give and give and give, but when it comes time to cash those checks, I’m going to be in trouble. The same is true with teaching. If I haven’t taken the time to learn and I try to teach, there will be a reckoning and it won’t be pretty. It will hurt my students and they may come and hurt me.

Further, I must demonstrate that I know something worth learning. I don’t mean I need to get in a marketing campaign to let everyone know how wonderfully smart I am. However, if I want the opportunity to teach something worth learning, then others will have to see that I know something they want to learn. I can’t help but think of Jesus and His apostles in Luke 11:1. The disciples asked Him to teach them to pray. Why? Because they saw how He prayed and they wanted to learn. I don’t just get to teach because I was hired. I don’t just get to teach because I’m older than my kids. I really only get to teach when someone has seen that I know something they want to learn. Oh, I may say a lot of stuff. I may lecture and demonstrate, but I’m not really teaching unless others have determined that I have something they want to learn.

If I wanted to, I could buy a book on auto-mechanics. I could probably offer a great lecture, complete with compelling PowerPoint on fixing cars. However, if you really want to know how to fix cars, don’t come to me. Go to my friend, Dale. He’s actually spent some time working on cars. He’s actually fixed cars. I’ve only messed them up. If I really want to teach something, I need to spend time working on me first. I need to spend time learning something worth teaching.

 

What is Worth Learning?

I’m sure we all have different perspectives on what is worth learning. Not to mention, my perspective on what is worth learning has changed over the years. I fear providing a list of subjects because by this time next year, my list might have changed. Instead, I’ll provide four guidelines.

1. Is it true?

If what I’m saying isn’t true, then it simply isn’t worth learning. Why would I teach 2+2=5? It’s just not true. Now don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying everything I teach has to be factual. Teaching doesn’t have to be factual to be true. For instance, when Jesus taught His famous parables, none of them were factual. He wasn’t talking about a factual sower who sowed in four areas and received four different results. However, His message was true. I need to make sure what I’m teaching is true. I shouldn’t simply jump on the bandwagon with something just because I like it or it fits with what I’ve always thought. I need to test it. If I want to teach something worth learning, it needs to be true.

2. Is it helpful?

Some things might be true, but so what? What if someone was actually able to provide the true answer to the question of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Who cares? I may learn the right answer to that question and shout it from the roof tops, but is it really worth learning? Was it really worth a learner’s time to listen to my calculations, proofs, and arguments? Or have I wasted their time? Stuff worth learning is worth living. If I really want to teach something worth learning, it needs to be something helpful.

3. Does it make people better?

I guess this is simply expanding the first point. However, I want to expand it. I know I have been too often caught up in the rat race. I went to school so I could learn things so I could get a job so I could make money so I could buy things. That seems to be the pretty standard practice in our culture. We learn so we can earn. But should that really be the goal of learning? Is money really what it’s all about? Do I really just go to school for a short period in life so I can get a career based on that learning? I think there is higher purpose. I need to learn so I can be a better person. I need to learn so I can be a more productive citizen. I need to learn so I can give more to my community and my fellow man. That doesn’t stop with a Bachelor’s degree and a steady job. That continues for life. Thus, if I’m actually going to teach something worth learning, it is not just about getting someone a job. It needs to be about making them a better person. I tend to believe when the world is filled with better people, the job market will take care of itself.

4. Does it inspire?

For far too many, teaching is about conveying facts. Can we fill someone else’s head with information that they can regurgitate later? Perhaps that is a form of teaching, but of what use is it. Life isn’t a standardized test. Things worth learning inspire learners to live them. If I want to teach something worth learning, it needs to be inspiring.

 

Conclusion

I want to be of service today. I want to get outside myself today. I want to help others today. Today, I want to teach something worth learning. I hope I’ve accomplished that goal with this post.

 

(Come back next week for our final post in this series: Be Someone Worth Knowing.)

Something Worth Doing, Part 16: Listen To Something Worth Hearing

September 16, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, communication, Kelsey Harris, Something Worth Doing with 0 Comments

listening Something Worth Doing, Part 16: Listen To Something Worth Hearing(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one. By the way, please check out the site for the Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and help promote the foundation by purchasing any of the Life’s More Interesting products. By the way, unlike the other links in this post, there is no affiliation link here. None of your purchases of these products grease my pockets.)

I don’t even want to go into all the emotional reasons I took a break from this series. However, for those who have been faithful to check back every Wednesday to find out more about “Something Worth Doing” my tribute to Kelsey Harris and her poem, thank you. To those who have been disappointed with their absence. I’m sorry. However, I’m excited to provide you with the next installment. Enjoy.

Today, I Want To…

Listen to Something Worth Hearing

The Sounds of Silence

The world is a cacophony of noise. Everywhere we go, we hear it. We can hardly think in restaurants with televisions blaring, background music bopping, and conversations echoing off the ceramic tile floors. Hop in the car and we usually elect to have the same experience there by turning on the radio. We carry our mp3 players with us so that when it gets too quiet, we can have some noise.

Noise, noise, everywhere but not a sound to listen to. Before you even worry about listening to something worth hearing, you need to get comfortable with silence. Of course, there is no complete silence. You just need to get used to time without artificial noise.

Walk outside, sit in your yard, close your eyes, and listen to God’s creation. Hear birds calling. Hear the distant dog barking. Hear the grass whisper. Hear the leaves cackle. Hear the wind whistle. Have you ever noticed that all that is going on? Let what God has made in this world amaze you. Meditate on your part in it. Notice the noises man is making. Hear the neighbor cutting his grass. Hear the cars travel down the road. Hear the far off plane fly overhead. Hear the neighborhood kids shout as they play ball. Hear a nearby mother call for her children. Have you ever let any of that human activity register? Let what goes on in life impact you. Think of your part in it.

Don’t stop this too quickly. Don’t get impatient thinking you need to get something done. Simply be amazed and sit in humility over your small part of this gigantic world and community. The sound of God’s world and God’s people is worth taking some time to listen to.

 

Recognize the Worthiness of Those Talking To You

Here is the first key to be able to listen to things worth hearing. SHUT UP! So many of us miss out on what is worth hearing because we won’t stop talking. We want everyone to believe we are worth listening to. Quit making every conversation about you. When your friends are telling you about their frustration, their success, their struggle, their victory, resist the urge to follow it up with, “I know just what you’re talking about, listen to what happened to me.” If you ask someone a question, close your mouth, open your ears and listen to their answer. You might just end up listening to something worth hearing.

This, of course, take a healthy dose of humility. You have to realize that you aren’t the only person in the world who says things worth hearing. This especially takes humility if the one speaking is saying something with which you disagree. You need to understand that worthiness is not based on whether or not it agrees with what you already think. We have to learn to turn off our quick judgment and listen to understand. There have been many cases in which I discovered that what I initially disagreed with was right, I just had to take some time to hear the person out.

In addition to having some personal humility, start granting to others that they are worthy to speak. What your spouse says is worth hearing. What your parents say is worthy hearing. What your kids say is worth hearing. What your co-workers say is worth hearing. What your neighbors say is worth hearing. What your friends say is worth hearing. What your fellow church members say is worth hearing. They aren’t all idiots. They are worthy. That doesn’t mean you have to always agree or accept what they say. It does mean you need to back up and recognize their worthiness to speak. You never know what you might learn and how you might improve when you recognize that you do not have all wisdom and knowledge; these people God has placed around you might just be of some help.

 

Place Yourself In Situations to Listen to Things Worth Hearing

Too many of us don’t listen to things worth hearing because we hang out in places and relationships where nothing worth hearing is said. Instead, we need to go to places and find people where worthy things are said.

If we watch movies, listen to music, hang out with people that promote immorality, pride, revenge, hate,something worth doing poem Something Worth Doing, Part 16: Listen To Something Worth Hearingand other sins, we are only going to listen to things that aren’t worth hearing. However, if we find wise counselors, moral friends, pure music and movies, we have a much better chance for reaching this goal today.

I can’t help but think about Paul’s words in Ephesians 5:11-12. “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.” Get these situations out of your lives. Turn off the crass comedians. Turn away from those who brag about their sin and wrongdoing. Instead, put yourself with people who say things worth hearing. As the Proverbialist says, wise counselors bring safety and victory (Proverbs 11:14; 24:6).

Let me highlight one specific you need to cut out in order to place yourself in the situation to listen to things worth hearing. Get rid of gossip and slander. If you pursue the juicy tidbit, the speck of dirt, the sordid secret, you aren’t going to listen to things worth hearing. Instead, your going to hear things no one should listen to. Don’t hang out with gossips. If your friends’ favorite words are, “Don’t tell anyone I said this,” you may need to find new friends. Spend time with people who keep their secrets and build others up to their faces and behind their backs. These are the kind of people who say things worth hearing.

Finally, find things worth listening to instead of just trying to be entertained all the time. I love to sing along to the radio as much as the next guy. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if most of your listening time is spent just being entertained, you are missing out on a lot of worthy stuff. If you have an mp3 player, start subscribing to podcasts that will help you be a better person. Sign up to hear sermons from preachers that want to help you spiritually. Purchase audio books to improve yourself. Listen to self-help podcasts. Find trade specific shows that will improve you in your work. Find family related podcasts that will help you at home. Sure, listen to your music sometime, but make sure to let that commute be beneficial, not just entertaining.

 

Above All Listen to Him Who Is Above All

Recognize that we are not alone in the world. There is a Higher Power who put you here. He does care for you. He wants to help you. Listen to what He has to say. No, I don’t think He will speak to you with an audible voice. However, I do think He will speak to you.

He speaks to you through His Word. His Spirit revealed it so we might know Him. He guides us in all that we need to know and do, equipping us for every good work. He has the wisdom that we do not.

I also think He speaks to you through His other children. Listen to the experience, strength, hope others have to offer. Heed the advice of fellow travelers on the spiritual journey, especially those farther down the road than you. God places these people in our lives for a reason.

Don’t turn your back on what God has to say to you. What He says is the most worthy word to hear.

 

We hear a lot of things every day. Today lets start filtering some of it. Close your mouth. Open your ears. Listen to understand. Respect others. Listen to something worth hearing.

(Come back next week as we learn about “Teaching Something Worth Learning.”)

Something Worth Doing, Part 15: Risk Something Worth Protecting

August 12, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, parenting, Relationships, Something Worth Doing with 1 Comment

risk Something Worth Doing, Part 15: Risk Something Worth Protecting(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one. By the way, please check out the site for the Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and help promote the foundation by purchasing any of the Life’s More Interesting products. By the way, unlike the other links in this post, there is no affiliation link here. None of your purchases of these products grease my pockets.)

Today, I Want to…

…Risk Something Worth Protecting

What? I want to risk something worth protecting? What is that about? Our first thought is if something is worth protecting, I don’t want to risk it at all. I want to lock it up, keep it covered, keep it away from grasping hands.

However, this statement makes me think of an illustration I recently read in N. T. Wright’s The Challenge of Jesus Something Worth Doing, Part 15: Risk Something Worth Protecting. While talking about a completely different subject, he spoke about his trip to the Louvre and his desire to see the Mona Lisa. Listen to what he said:

“In October of 1998 my wife and I went to Paris for a conference, and in a spare moment we visited the Louvre. It was the first time either of us had been there. A disappointment awaited us: the Mona Lisa, which every good tourist goes to goggle at, is not only as enigmatic ash she has always been but following a violent attack is now behind thick glass. All attempts to look into those famous eyes, to face the famous questions as to what they are meaning and whether this meaning is really there or is being imposed by the viewers, are befogged by glimpses of other eyes—one’s own, and dozens more besides—reflected back from the protective casing.”*

Is the Mona Lisa worth protecting? I’m sure most of us would say it is. But something has been lost by the protection. Better to risk the Mona Lisa and let the multitudes goggle and grow by the experience than protect it and hinder the public’s betterment. Perhaps we see here it is better to protect the experience and not just the painting.

I also think of the ancient proverbialist’s words in Proverbs 14:4. “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.” Solomon, if he was indeed the author of this proverb, understood that progress comes by risking things we want to protect. We prefer a clean manger. But when we keep our manger clean from the oxen, then our crops are not going to be very good. After all, letting oxen do the work will produce a much larger crop than doing it all myself. In this case, the farmer wanted to protect his manger. However, he needed to risk it by sheltering and feeding his oxen there to reap the even greater rewards.

Our Protection Often Limits Intimacy

The situation that really comes to mind as I wrestle with this resolution is the area of relationships. I need relationships. I want to protect those relationships. Apart from my relationship with God, my most important relationship is with my wife. That relationship needs protecting. I don’t want to risk that relationship at all.

Sadly, my protection often leads to codependence. It leads to me trying so hard to fix things in her because I fear what others will think that she becomes angry with me and a wedge is driven between us. What I’ve found is when I let her live her life and do her job her way and then provide support no matter what anyone else says, that is when we draw the closest. When she makes mistakes, she learns from them just like I learn from mine. When I let her risk instead of trying to preemptively protect her, we usually draw closer.

The codependence leads me to cover up things about myself I’m afraid will turn her away from me. Sadly, the secrets lead me to isolation and I push her away anyway. Granted, one day I may have to pass on a secret that will cause Marita to turn away from me. I hope not. But it may happen. However, up to now, letting myself be vulnerable with her has only ever drawn us closer. Revealing what is going on inside me orsomething worth doing poem Something Worth Doing, Part 15: Risk Something Worth Protecting in my dark moments is a scary thing. I usually want to protect the relationship and keep those things hidden. But as our recovering friends warn us, we are only as sick as our deepest secrets. When we share those secrets we are risking the relationships, but the rewards when the relationships survive are phenomenal.

When I think about risking relationships I want to protect, I think about my children. I so want to protect them from all the evil that is out there. The top of the list is sexual evil. For the longest time, my approach to protecting them was to hide sex from them as much as possible and then scare the daylights out of them about the rest of it. However, I realized the hiding only produces curiosity and the fear only produces rebellion, at least, that is what it did for me. But if I don’t hide it from them, I’m risking their innocence and that, to me, is definitely worth protecting.

No, I’m not suggesting we invite our children to watch pornography or send them out on dates with contraceptive devices. But I am saying I have to learn that sometimes my protection actually puts what I’m afraid to risk at greater risk. I have to learn to risk those things that are worth protecting.

It is like our little baby’s health. Have you even thought about what we are doing when we immunize our children? We are actually introducing a disease into our baby’s body in order to protect them. We are placing them at risk in order to protect them. Sadly, in some cases the risk takes place and we spend the rest of our lives condemning ourselves for taking the risk. That is why you will always find websites condemning immunizations. However, there is no argument that immunizations have lowered, in fact, nearly eradicated some diseases in our kids. We need to learn that instead of isolating our children, we should inoculate them. Is it a risk? Absolutely. But in my experience isolation is an even bigger risk because we simply aren’t so good as to completely isolate our children from everything.

Growing through Risk

Another story that comes to my mind is Jesus’ story about the talents found in Matthew 25. A master gave five talents to one servant, two talents to another, and one talent to a third. By the way, the footnote in my Bible says a talent was a monetary sum worth about 20 years wages to the common laborer. Can you imagine being given 20 years of your salary in one lump sum? What would you do with it? The man who had been give 100 years of salary and the man who had been given 40 years of salary both risked their talents. They bought and sold and traded until they had generated twice what they started with. The third man hid his talent. Think about it. That seems wise to some of us. At least he didn’t fritter it away on eating out, depreciating gizmos, and self-seeking pursuits. He protected it. When the master returned, the man gave him back his talent. The master, however, was not happy. He didn’t give the man the talent so that when he returned he could get one talent back. If he had wanted that, he could have kept the talent with him. He gave the servant the talent to produce a profit. He called this servant wicked and slothful.

Ouch! That hurts. Sometimes, what we want to claim is preservation and protection is actually nothing more than fear. We fear rejection so we don’t risk our egos. Sadly, we then spend all our time feeling inadequate because we never accomplish anything. We fear betrayal so we don’t risk entering a relationship. Sadly, we miss out on the joys of strong friendships and love, living out our lives in loneliness and empty pursuits. We fear conflict so we don’t risk sharing our opinions and feelings. Sadly, we seethe in bitterness and resentment until the conflicts erupt in proportions too great to control.

Sometimes what we want to claim is preservation and protection is actually nothing more than laziness. The five and two talent men actually went to work with their talents. They had to buy and sell, that took research, time, planning, and skill. I’m sure investing then was like it is today. Nobody ever bats 1000. They had to make up when they lost what they risked. The one talent man didn’t have to work. He just hid the talent and could sit on his behind.

I hope you don’t think this is too crass, but I have to share a poem I first heard from John Maxwell.

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore. 

But then some strange prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, “What have we here?”
Those prints are large and round and neat,
“But Lord, they are too big for feet.”

“My child,” He said in somber tones,
“For miles I carried you along.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.” 

“You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt.” 

“Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.”

Let’s face it. Relationships take work. It is a lot easier to be disconnected. As Simon and Garfunkel sang, “A rock feels no pain. And an island never cries.” Why work on a relationship when it means risking so much pain? Accomplishment takes work. Too many of us want to sit on our rears and hope that God will drop some major accomplishment in our laps. It just won’t happen. Why risk looking the fool when you can shoot for nothing and no one will ever notice? Leadership takes work. It is a lot easier to be the low man on the totem pole. It isn’t your reputation on the line when you are just the rummy. Why shoot to lead others when it means risking so much if you fail?

Why risk? Because the relationships that can produce the greatest pain can also produce the greatest happiness. And as Garth Brooks sang, “I could have missed the pain, but I’d have had to miss the dance.” Because only those who brave looking like a fool in front of the masses ever accomplish anything worthwhile. Consider the simple task of writing a poem or a book. If you only ever fear that others will not want to read your book, you’ll never have the satisfaction of getting one done. Because leadership means we can accomplish things through others we could never accomplish on our own. Nobody ever became President without risking his entire reputation. Perhaps we don’t look nearly as bad as any of our Presidents have ever been made to look by their enemies, but then we’ve never led the known world to anything of consequence. Why risk? Because whether we succeed or fail the growth and accomplishment we attain is really worth it and helps us press on to bigger and greater things.

I know you want to protect something. But God has given us our greatest blessings in order to risk them. Not so we could lose them. But rather, through the risking we may grow and are able to give back to our society and to Him great things.

Therefore, today, I want to risk something worth protecting because in reality, only when I risk do I grow and gain the true fulfillment out of God’s gifts.

(Come back next Wednesday to learn about Listening to Something Worth Hearing.)

     

 *Wright, N.T., The Challenge of Jesus, Intervarsity Press, Downers Grove, 1999, p 196.

Something Worth Doing, Part 14: Do Something Worth Watching

August 5, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Something Worth Doing with 1 Comment

broken television Something Worth Doing, Part 14: Do Something Worth Watching(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I want to…

Do Something Worth Watching 

Do Something

Before you can do something worth watching, you have to do something. Far too many people are satisfied to watch something worth doing. Too many of us are satisfied to channel surf for hours on end looking for something “worth watching.” Or we hop on YouTube and search for videos all day. Nielsen reports that the average American watches 153 hours of television per month; that’s more than 5 hours per day. That’s almost one week per month or just over two and a half months per year of television. And that average doesn’t include the time spent watching Hulu, renting dvds, or going to the movies.

Of course, I’m sure you don’t watch five hours of television per day. But what if you just watch two? That’s 730 hours per year. I know this is going to sound amazing, but do you realize that is the equivalent of just over 30 days of television per year? At just two hours per day you are losing an entire month out of your year. Think about that for a moment. That means you are only living 11 out of every 12 years if you watch just two hours of television per day.

Consider this, watching one season of the average show means spending an entire day watching television (especially if you’re watching “24”). If you just keep up with a handful of shows, say seven, you’ve spent an entire week of your year watching television. What could you get done if you had an extra week?

If the average American is watching five hours of television per day, they’re going to have a hard time doing anything, let alone doing something worth watching. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying television is a sin. I’m not saying you can’t find out what happens next on your favorite show. There is a place for relaxation and if watching television is your place, that’s okay. Just remember that every hour spent watching others do things is an hour you aren’t doing anything.

We are examples

The goal to do something worth watching is a bit frightening. It says we want to be examples. We want to be people folks can look to. Unlike sports stars and actors who often complain that they don’t want to be seen as role models, we are saying we do. We want to do something and do it so well people will look to us as a pattern.

However, keep in mind that this is doing something worth watching, not doing something for the sake of being watched. There is a difference. We don’t want to be glory hounds, arrogantly pressing our “superb” work on everyone else as if they should recognize how amazing we are. At the same time, we do want to do the absolute best job we can do so that if and when others are watching, they will see an example, a role model.something worth doing poem Something Worth Doing, Part 14: Do Something Worth Watching

Here’s the rub. No matter how humble or how arrogant we are, no matter how worthy or unworthy of watching we are, no matter how much we want them to or how much we don’t, someone is watching us. Someone is looking to us. Someone is learning from us. Are we giving them something worth watching?

If you have to keep it secret, don’t do it

While we will certainly note that there is a very special sense of doing something worth watching, there is also a general sense in which everything we do should be worth watching. Obviously, I’m speaking a bit accommodatively here. Clearly there are some private matters that are perfectly normal and healthy that we don’t want others watching. However, apart from that sort of activity, we should strive to let everything we do be worth watching.

If there is something you are doing that you are keeping secret or don’t want others to know, you should likely stop (no I’m not talking about planning that secret, surprise birthday party for me). Certainly you should stop if what you are doing is morally wrong. But I encourage you to stop the secret things even if they aren’t morally wrong. Let me use my own television watching as an example. Not all that long ago I got sucked into watching a television series online. Sadly, I wasted two and a half days of my life finding out what happened to all those characters (and you wonder why I miss getting posts put up on some days). Even though I don’t think watching the show was morally wrong, I remember my wife came home one night and I immediately scrambled to shut the Netflix down and open Entourage to look like I had just sat down to check my e-mail. Ooops. Not good.

Here is what I’ve learned. Sometimes I justify actions by saying, “It’s not morally wrong.” But there is clearly part of me that says, “I shouldn’t be doing this.” When that is happening, I have inner turmoil. As my friends in recovery say, “We are only as sick as our secrets.” If I’m doing something that I’m keeping secret because of inner guilt, it is only going to cause a downward spiral for me that eventually does lead to doing things that are wrong. It may come out as rage at my family, arrogance to cover for my feelings of weakness, lies to keep from being found out, or worse. I’ve learned it almost never stops with just that one secret.

I don’t know where your secret things will lead you. I simply know those secrets aren’t helping you. Do things worth watching. If you need to cover it up or develop elaborate statements to “technically tell the truth” so no one will know what you are really doing, then you should probably stop whatever it is. Don’t do things you are afraid other might see; do things worth watching.

Find one thing you love to do, and do it so well people want to watch

While there is that general sense of doing all things worth watching, there is also a sense in which we should work on our one thing worth watching. This is about our life’s passion, our career, our bread and butter. Too many of us are willing to settle for letting life happen to us. We go to school, graduate, get a job, and then settle in for the long haul. We may do well or just enough to get by, but we don’t ever do anything that stands out. We wonder why we are always chasing our tails and never really getting anything worthwhile done.

Instead of letting life happen to you, take charge. What are you passionate about? What gets your motivation running? What would you do if money weren’t an issue? Work on that. Sure, it may not pay the bills right now, but you’ve got two hours of television per day you can trade for it. Become an expert at it. Become the best and then learn how to get others to watch you do it.

I love what I’ve heard John Maxwell say over and over again about this. Find something you enjoy doing so much you’d gladly do it for free. Then learn to do it so well that others will gladly pay you to do it. Granted, this may not be something people watch in the sense of entertainment, but it will definitely be something people will regard with respect and appreciation.

For you, this might be anything from juggling, to landscaping, to quilting, to coaching. Don’t chase the money. Chase what you love, then get so good at it that you become worth watching. When you are that good, the money will start to come to you.

Today, I don’t want to settle for letting life happen to me. I don’t want to be pushed by every current and eddy of the world. I want to stand tall and be an example. I want to cut out my secrets. I want to do something worth watching.

What do you want to do?

(Come back next week to talk about Risking Something Worth Protecting.)

Here is a great example of someone who has worked hard at something so that now he is worth watching.

Of course, be careful, you will be spending 10 minutes watching someone else instead of doing something yourself. But maybe you’ll be inspired.

 


Something Worth Doing, Part 13: Cry Tears Worth Shedding

July 22, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Something Worth Doing with 2 Comments

crying Something Worth Doing, Part 13: Cry Tears Worth Shedding(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I want to…

Cry Tears Worth Shedding

I was 13 when I first learned crying was the wrong thing to do. I had gone fishing with some friends. As we climbed a hill so steep it was more like crawling than walking, one of my friends above me kicked loose a rock (at the time it appeared to be a boulder to me). The rock scraped across my hand removing the left side of my left-hand middle finger. It removed a strip of skin about a quarter inch wide and two inches long. It hurt like nobody’s business. It bled like crazy; I remember thinking I was going to bleed to death. And I cried and cried and cried. However, what I remember most was the younger girl, whose name I don’t even remember who also was hit by the rock, although the rock merely rolled across her hand leaving no damage whatsoever.  She hardly cried at all. On the ride to the emergency room, I couldn’t quit crying. I remember her making fun of me because I cried and expressing how much better than me she was because she wasn’t crying. I hardly cried at all for more than 20 years following that day.

In our culture, we teach that crying means someone is spoiled, immature, weak, manipulative, insignificant. Women are afraid to cry in front of men because they fear they will be seen as weak. Men are afraid to cry in front of anyone because they are afraid they will be seen as failures. We are told to keep a stiff upper lip. We are told we need to be brave. We are told we need to be strong. Even when people are understanding of our tears they still do their best to get us to stop, letting us know it will be okay and there’s really no need to cry. When children cry we threaten, bribe, cajole, and distract them so they will stop.

With that in mind, I don’t feel shame or guilt that I stopped crying for so long. I know it was simply how I was trained. But over the past two years, I have worked at crying. I encourage you to do the same. Our culture is wrong when it tells us not to cry. Our culture is wrong when it tells us to discourage others from crying.

Sadly, even Christians have bought in to the “no cry” policy. Too often we act like the only emotionsomething worth doing poem Something Worth Doing, Part 13: Cry Tears Worth SheddingChristians should have is joy and happiness. We are afraid we aren’t being spiritual enough or trusting God enough if we cry. But Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to weep. Jesus wept (John 11:35). The apostle Paul cried more than any of them (Acts 20:19, 31; II Corinthians 2:4; Philippians 3:18). Tears are part of a healthy life. Tears are part of a spiritual life.

Like the hugging we learned about a few weeks ago, crying is actually good for us physiologically. Scientists have learned that emotional tears carry toxins out of our body that are increased due to stress, emotion, and pain. When we repress our crying, we aren’t showing strength, we are actually weakening our bodies. Some theorize that is why women in general live longer than men, they cry more readily getting rid of those toxins.

Why is it that hugging and crying, two extremely positive things are stigmatized by our culture? Why do men in particular want to hang on to failed stereotypes to express a terrible view of manhood?

Perhaps the Bible passage that has helped me the most is Romans 12:15. Paul wrote, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” He didn’t say distract those who weep. He didn’t say threaten those who weep. He didn’t say laugh at those who weep. He didn’t say stigmatize those who weep. He didn’t say ostracize those who weep. He didn’t say mock those who weep. He didn’t say stop those who weep. He didn’t say entertain those who weep. He didn’t even say comfort those who weep. He said weep with those who weep.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the shedding of tears. In fact, instead of trying to stop someone else, we should let their tears prompt our own. We need to empathize and feel the pain and sadness so that we too may release our own emotions. Their tears are worth shedding and worth shedding some of our own with them.

So which tears are worth shedding? Every single one of them. This resolution does not tell us to limit our tears to only those worthwhile. It encourages us to cry tears because they are necessary; they are worth shedding. Granted, you may, like Joseph in Genesis 43:30, need to get in a more appropriate location. You may not want to cry in front of your boss just because he shot down your proposal. But if it makes you sad, go somewhere and cry. It’s okay. You’re not a wimp or a loser; you’re living longer. If you’re children are crying because they broke a toy, don’t try to get them to stop by promising them a new one. Let them be sad for the loss of their old one. If one of your friends starts crying for some unknown reason, don’t push them away. Draw them close and let them know its okay.

If you need to cry, shed the tears. They are worth shedding.

(Come back next Wednesday. We’re going to talk about Doing Something Worth Watching.)

Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring

July 15, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Something Worth Doing with 1 Comment

family game night Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I Want to…

Buy Something Worth Treasuring.

People want your money. That’s why advertising and marketing is a hundreds of billions of dollars business each year. We see ads online, on billboards, on t-shirts, on pens, in junk mail, with e-mail, on the radio, on television, at the movies, and on the list goes. Even the most conservative figures about the number of marketing messages we receive daily are pretty astounding. At an average rate of 245 marketing messages per day, that’s just over 1 every 4 minutes throughout a 16-hour day. Think about that. Every four minutes you are getting some message that says, “Spend your money here.” In fact, just to be painfully honest, just by scrolling down this page and reading this post, you’re getting 16 marketing messages.

The marketers want us to know that their products are the best. They spin. They light up. They flash. They save money. They make you look better than your neighbor. They make you look sexy. They cause beautiful men and women to be attracted to you. They are neat. They will balance your checkbook. They will make you lose weight. They will cause you to be the talk of all the neighbors. Spend your money on the latest whatever and all your wildest dreams will come true. (In fact, click on that book to the right and make a purchase. It will make you a better Christian. Oh wait, that makes it 17 marketing messages.)

But do we want to spend our money on just anything? Or do we long for something more fulfilling, something we can treasure, value, and hold on to indefinitely.

Obviously, you are going to spend money. Obviously you are going to spend money on some things that have no lasting sentiment or value. You have to purchase your needs. Food, clothing, personal items all have to be on your purchase list. You have to get from one place to another in our culture. Therefore, transportation is going to be on the list somewhere. Surely, getting some fun items should be on the list as well. In my opinion, every one should have an iPhone. (Does that count as a marketing message?) I’m sure you’re going to want some status symbol items. A BMW is nice or a Lexus.

However, think about every one of those things just mentioned. Do any of them have true lasting value? Clothes wear out. Food passes. Cars break down and rust. IPhones become obsolete. Status symbols lose their status. Fashions change. I’m not saying don’t buy them. I’ve bought them, well, except for the BMW or Lexus. I’m just saying if we think we’ll find something meaningful here, we are mistaken.

So many times we are absolutely certain if we were just able to buy that one particular item, everything would be okay. If we could get the house in that certain neighborhood, the flooring that would make the house just right, the widescreen, flat-panel television that would allow us to entertain our friends, the designer clothes that would let us fit in, then we would be okay. Then we would be happy. We finally save up and get it (or worse we drop it on a credit card and regret the purchase every month for years). However, after a few days, weeks, months it just no longer does the trick.

Somewhere in the midst of the spending frenzy, if we want to get fulfillment out of our money, we need to buy something worth treasuring. We need to buy things that will have a lasting value attached to them. We need to buy things that really can provide some kind of fulfillment, something we can hang on to as important.

The Most Important Treasures

Sadly, so few of us really know what to purchase like that. Too often we are stuck thinking about intrinsic material value. So we start looking to purchase an heirloom as if we can manufacture the emotion of sentiment by purchasing something expensive. It just doesn’t work like that. You might buy the most expensive diamond ring. Its cost won’t suddenly make it something to treasure.

So, how do we buy something worth treasuring?

I can’t help but think of what my wife is going through right now as I write this post. Her dad died a year and a half ago and passed on a little money to his children. Marita has been very clear. She doesn’t want this money to just enter our general fund and be frittered away paying off debt, eating out, and just buying stuff. As she has been thinking what to do with the money, she has taught me about where the true treasures are. Memories. That’s right, memories.

While I insensitively tell her this is the perfect time to purchase that new iMac or widescreen television I’ve always wanted, she wants to purchase something that will cause her to remember her dad. She doesn’t want something that will break down in a few years and be tossed in the trash. She wants something that will call to mind everything her dad means to her. I think she is on the right track.

The fact is my desire for the iMac or the TV is really the exact same problem my son had a few days ago when he had two dollars burning a hole in his pocket. We went into a gas station and he wanted everything he saw that was less than two dollars. He saw this little lollipop whistle with a goofy game at the top of it where you flip a lever and try to put a little ball through the basket. He thought it was the neatest thing. After all, it is a lollipop, a whistle, and a game all at once. That’s like buying three things with just two dollars. What could top that? I tried to explain to him, “Ryan, it’s junk. It’ll be broken before the day is over. It’s a waste.” The TV I long for is bigger and will last longer, but is my desire for it much different? Sure, it seems exciting. I think it is entertaining. It will provide some form of pleasure for a time. But in the end, both it and the lollipop game will break and end up in the same landfill. That is their destiny. There is no treasure there.

But a memory…what a treasure. A memory can be brought out again and again. It can be relived in the heart and the soul. Buying a brand spanking new BMW may make you look good. But give it a few years and its paint will fade, its status will diminish, its leather smell will dissipate. However, buy a rusted out old car that you restore with your kids? That is a treasure. Even after the car falls apart again or you sell it, the memory of your time working together still lives on. The conversations, the successes, the accidents, the feeling of accomplishment and a job well done are invaluable. I’m not saying you should never buy the BMW. I’m just pointing out that is not really a treasure.

Memories for Sale

Buy a trip. One of Marita’s fondest memories of her dad is the family trip to Disney World. I still remember the trip I took with my parents on which we went to Carlsbad Caverns, the Painted Desert, the Petrified Forest, the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, and Mt. Rushmore. I tell stories about leaving Abilene, Texas when it was over 100 degrees and getting to Yellowstone while it was snowing. We had to go into town, buy new clothes and sleeping bags just to make it in our tent. I love to laugh and tell the story about how Mom and I bundled up in layers of sweats to go to sleep even though Dad tried to convince me a real man sleeps in just his shorts no matter what. What a laugh I had the next morning when Mom told me our real man got up shortly after I went to sleep and put on some clothes. That was 25 years ago, a year before my mom died. I don’t know how much that trip cost my parents, but it is certainly a treasure for me.

Buy souvenirs. Souvenirs are great ways to store up memories. I have a shelf of mugs that were purchasedsomething worth doing poem Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring on the trip I just mentioned and on others. Every time I look at that shelf, I remember those times together. After he retired from the Air Force, my dad ended up running his own heating and air business. His main supplier was Lennox. Some of my most prized possessions are the Lennox drinking glasses and mugs that we now have and the “toy” piggy banks modeled after vintage Lennox trucks. As far as piggy banks and drinking glasses go, there’s nothing special about them. But every time I see them I think of my dad. I think of putting on coveralls and crawling under a house or into an attic with him. I think of his work ethic. I think of his generosity. By the way, he died in 2000. You better believe I treasure the memories.

Buy a camera. Capture the memories. Digital cameras make everything so nice. Just take pictures and load them on to memory cards and sticks. Print them out and make scrapbooks. Label them to give reminders of exactly when and where you were. Every day I see pictures of my children when they were infants. I don’t ever want to lose those memories. I love to look at pictures with my kids on our trips. I love to see pictures of my family (well, most of them). One of the most treasured gifts I have is a small scrapbook my wife gave me for Father’s Day one year. On several pages she pasted pictures of my dad and me and then a similar picture of one of my children and me. Every once in a while I just get the book out because I need a good cry, a good laugh, a good memory.

Buy a video camera and use it. I’m not saying subject all your friends and neighbors to your memories. But they are your memories. Record them. Play them back. I treasure the video my granddad has of me as a toddler swimming with my mom. Granted, the one he has of my younger brother as an infant while I can be heard in the background singing some crazy made up song in the bathroom is not so good. But Marita treasures that one.

Buy things that remind you of the people in your life. Of course, sometimes these can be handed down to you for free. However, there may be something a friend of yours owned and you found a match for it. Buy it and let it remind you of your friend and loved one. I lived in England as a child and my parents collected Boson heads and plates. Even though Marita thinks the plates are hideous, she lets me keep one in our bedroom because of the treasure it is to me.

Buy games. Talk about memories in the making. I don’t know how many times my kids say, “Hey Dad, do you remember when we played such and such and this or that happened?” Like when Ethan likes to say, “Hey Dad, do you remember that time we played chess and I beat you in four moves?” This usually starts an avalanche of laughter and memories for the whole family. Some of our fondest memories with family and friends involve games. All I have to do around Marita and her siblings is mention Greg Louganis and “The Fish” and we are on a roll of game memories because of a great night of “Beyond Balderdash Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring.” If you ever meet Marita’s brother, Seth, you’ll have to ask him about it. I have a picture of a completed game of “Go Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring” on my phone in which I totally trounced Ethan after he had talked so much smack that he needed a lesson. I bring that up for a good chuckle with the kids now and then. Or then there is the time when Marita’s cousin told our friend he thought she was the worst “Farkel Something Worth Doing, Part 12: Buy Something Worth Treasuring” player ever and she came from behind and stomped us all. (By the way, in the interest of honest disclosure, those links are affiliate links. Can you blame a guy for trying to make a little extra cash in this economy?)

It’s the Value, not the Cost

You don’t have to be rich to buy things of value. All you need is memories. Sure, some experiences may cost a bit. You won’t pull off the Disney trip cheaply. But many experiences don’t cost much. I think of the poem “Salutation” by Ezra Pound in which he mocks the rich for their pretentions and stuffiness, while highlighting the experiences the poor can enjoy.

O generation of the thoroughly smug
and thoroughly uncomfortable,
I have seen fishermen picnicking in the sun,
I have seen them with untidy families,
I have seen their smiles full of teeth
and heard ungainly laughter.
And I am happier than you are,
And they were happier than I am;
And the fish swim in the lake
and do not even own clothing.

The issue is not the cost. The issue is the value. Don’t waste your life trying to buy something that costs a lot. Make sure you buy something worth treasuring. Make sure you buy some memories.

(Come back next Wednesday as we discuss Crying Tears Worth Shedding.)

Something Worth Doing, Part 11: Hug Someone Worth Holding

July 8, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Love, Relationships, Something Worth Doing with 1 Comment

hugs Something Worth Doing, Part 11: Hug Someone Worth Holding(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I want to…

Hug Someone Worth Holding

What’s A Hug?

“Hugging is natural, organic, naturally sweet, free of pesticides, and preservatives. Hugging contains no artificial ingredients. It’s 100% wholesome. No calories, no caffeine, no nicotine.

“Hugging is nearly perfect. There are no removable parts, batteries to wear out, no periodic checkups. It consumes little energy, while yielding a lot. It’s inflation-proof. It’s nonfattening. There are no monthly payments. No insurance requirements. It’s theft-proof, nontaxable, nonpolluting, and fully refundable. And it costs very little.

“Hugging is healthy. It assists the body’s immune system, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it invigorates, it rejuvenates, and it has no unpleasant side effects.

“Hugging is no less than a miracle drug” (borrowed from poofcat.com).

No wonder we want to hug someone worth holding today. What could be better? The problem is we’re just not used to it. In our American culture, we shake hands, making sure to keep everyone at arms length. Even in cultures that greet with hugs and kisses, they can become perfunctory and pointless. But, sincere, safe, wanted hugs are some of God’s best medicine for us.

Hugs are Good For You

Search the internet for benefits to hugging. You’ll find out hugs can decrease your heart rate. They can lower your blood pressure. Hugs can increase oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Hugs have been connected to better heart health. Hugs increase endorphin levels—the feel good hormones that give us a sense of happiness and well-being, plus they relieve pain. Hugs decrease levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

A hug can say, “I love you.” A hug can say, “I accept you.” A hug can say, “You’re wanted.” A hug can say,something worth doing poem 263x300 Something Worth Doing, Part 11: Hug Someone Worth Holding“You’re special.” A hug says, “We’re together.” A hug says, “We’re friends.” A hug provides a connection that nothing else does.

No doubt, different hugs say different things. There is the romantic hug for your husband or wife that lingers and caresses. There is the paternal hug for your children that turns into holding them on your lap. There is the cross-gender, I need to be appropriate, one arm around the shoulder hug. There is the quick hug that says, “We’re friends, but nothing more.” There is the “I haven’t seen you in forever” hug. There is the “I’m here for you” hug that hangs on until the one in need lets go. There’s the “weep with those who weep” hug that also provides a shoulder to cry on.

Hugs are important, life-saving even. Virginia Satir, American author and psychotherapist said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Look at a marriage that is falling apart and I guarantee you, you won’t see many hugs—if any. 12 hugs a day may not save a marriage on the rocks, but 0 hugs a day can sure toss it off the cliff. Look at isolated, rebellious kids and I doubt you’ll find hugging parents. (I know there are exceptions to every rule and someone will no doubt bring up the question of “which came first?”, but the fact remains, you won’t see much hugging there.) Find a prostitute, and I’m betting you find a girl who didn’t get many safe, loving hugs from her father. She’s still searching for that connection.

Why Do So Many Avoid Hugging?

But for all this, we often push away from hugs. Why?

Certainly, some have been hugged inappropriately and so physical touch scares us. Some have learned from traumatic childhood experiences that hugs are a violation and so they set up walls of protection against that happening again. My heart breaks for those of you in this situation. I pray that you can find people who can embrace you in arms of safety and help you grow in positive relationships.

For most, the trauma is not that extreme. However, a hug is still dangerous. I once heard the hug and kiss of European and Eastern greetings came about as a means of showing vulnerability. To hug someone was to come close enough as to be defenseless. If they wielded a knife, they could kill you. (I’m told the American handshake accomplished the same thing as you thrust forward your empty gun hand in a gesture of trust.) I doubt many of us are afraid of knife wielding huggers, but the hug does represent vulnerability. We are opening ourselves up to others to touch us, hold us, feel us, meet us. They can see and feel our blemishes. They can tell if we are trembling. They can feel our heart beat. Do we really want to let someone get that close? Many of us say, “No.” And we lose the great benefits of that kind of trust.

Perhaps the number one reason we fear the hug is the potential for rejection. We see a friend, hold our arms outstretched to show vulnerability, connection, trust and they give us a high five or grab the hand for a shake. Or worse, they stand there looking at us like we have our clothes on backward or have a booger hanging out of our nose. Rejection. A hug may be great, but a rejection’s negative affects seem much worse. So, we abstain from the benefits of a hug in order to avoid the pain of rejection.

Perhaps you can reshape what is happening in that moment of seeming rejection. I’m sure there are some stuck up, self-centered, pharisaical people who reject you as a person and therefore don’t want you touching them in a hug. Do you really care what that kind of person thinks of you? However, those folks are few and far between. The folks who avoid the hugs usually aren’t rejecting you. Rather, they are expressing their own struggles. Respect their need for space because an unwanted, unsafe hug doesn’t provide great benefits. Instead of pouting in your own rejection, pray for whatever causes them to turn from the hug.

Get your daily quota

Everyone needs a hug. Make sure you get permission first. Make sure your being appropriate (guys, I hope you know I’m talking to you, this isn’t your free ticket to cop a feel). Get out there and give hugs. That’s right, give hugs. I didn’t say get hugs because a true hug is about giving to others, not taking from them. So go give your quota of hugs.

They’re free. They’re fun. They’re healthy. They’re easy. Why not find someone and give them a hug right now.

I think I will.

 

(Come back next Wednesday when we discuss “Buying Something Worth Treasuring.”)

Something Worth Doing, Part 10: Eat Something Worth Tasting–A Guest Post by Simon Harris

July 1, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Something Worth Doing with 2 Comments

dessert 300x225 Something Worth Doing, Part 10: Eat Something Worth Tasting A Guest Post by Simon Harris(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

I struggled last week because “Eat Something Worth Tasting” is the one line in the resolution poem that doesn’t just resonate with me immensely. Don’t get me wrong, I like to eat stuff that is worth tasting, but it is not a life philosophy for me like it was for Kelsey and is for her dad, Simon. 

So, thanks to Simon Harris for providing this guest post to get a better look at what this point meant for Kelsey.

By the way, don’t forget to check out The Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation and the “Life Is More Interesting” merchandise to help support the foundation (once again, these are not affiliate links, none of the purchase money goes to my pocket).

Eat Something Worth Tasting, by Simon Harris

When first I saw “Eat something worth tasting” on Kelsey’s list of New Year’s resolutions, I thought, “That’s my girl!” One of the things Kels and I shared was a love for food, not in a gluttonous sort of way, but in an adventurous way. We loved trying new foods and experimenting with different flavors and spices. We rarely ate leftovers, and when we did they were most often used creatively to make a new dish. Even now when I fix myself lunch I can hear Kelsey asking, “Daddy, what are you having for lunch?” That was her way of saying, “Let’s throw something together.” When we’d go to a new restaurant we were always sure to get different dishes so we could try what the other one ordered. She loved all kinds of food; hot & spicy, savory, sweet, fried, grilled, smoked, baked, Italian, Indian, Chinese, Mexican, meat & potatoes; you name it, she’d at least try it!
 
As Edwin said, we have a family rule that while on vacation we do not eat anywhere we could eat at home. While at home we might love Chili’s, Outback Steakhouse, Red Lobster, and Steak n Shake, but on vacation they are anathema! It’s part of the adventure of vacation, and even more, it’s part of the adventure of living. While that might mean an occasional dud, even that then becomes a funny memory we can share. But, when you have this adventurous attitude about life, the duds are few and far between (not to mention that a little research goes a long way!).
 
In truth, “Eat something worth tasting” is more about living than it is about eating. Eating is really a metaphor for Kelsey’s view of life. When she ate, she loved every part of it–the sights, the smells, the tastes, the textures, the subtle nuances. What she loved was the experience of eating. Eating was always an event for her. She hated eating on the run, and she was always disappointed when eating was an afterthought. That same attitude was translated into everything she did. She loved going to the library because she loved the smells, the feel of the books, being surrounded by other bibliophiles, and of course, the stacks and stacks of precious books, every one with the ability to take you to fantastic and far away places! She loved doing things many teenagers would think was beneath them, like hanging out with her younger brother and sister, and even her parents, because it was an experience.
 
Kels was very much a “live for the moment” kind of person. Here’s what I mean; she got every ounce of enjoyment out of every thing she did. She loved the anticipation of what was coming, she enjoyed every second of what she was doing, then she loved talking about all the fun she had doing it! We had a rule for Kels when company would come that she could only make three comments about summer camp, and it was a rule we always had to enforce. She just loved life! And why shouldn’t she? Shortly before her death, a friend posted a question on Pleonast, “Have you been blessed?” Kelsey’s response was, “Hehe, asking if I’ve been blessed is like asking a vegetarian if he eats vegetables. Yay for bad analogies!!“ You might think this was a girl with cancer. You might think this was girl who was in a wheelchair. But really it was a girl who knew that God had blessed her far more than cancer had wounded her.
 
Here’s my advice to you from all this: Enjoy the experience of living. Savor the sights, the smells, and the tastes. Relish the mundane day-to-day tasks of your existence. Take pleasure in the little events that make up life under the sun. This is the great lesson Solomon taught in Ecclesiastes. Read it sometime noticing how many times he tells us to be content and enjoy life (Ecc. 2:24; 3:12-13, 22; 5:18-19). Added to that, I’d say don’t be afraid to try something new. There is so much good we can experience if we’d just try it. There is so much good we could accomplish if we’d just try it. Failure is not the worst thing that can happen to us. It is far worse to regret never having tried. Even in failure there are lessons to learn, lessons we need to learn. Life is not a spectator sport!
 
In his blog Edwin said that we should stop the whining. Can you see that when you live today with the resolution to “eat something worth tasting” there’s no place for whining? To live with that resolve is to enjoy today, regardless of what’s thrown at you, because every day has it’s own unique flavors, textures, smells, and nuances to be enjoyed! 

—————–

Thanks, Simon.

Come back next week as we move on to talk about hugging someone worth holding.

Something Worth Doing, Part 9: Eat Something Worth Tasting

June 24, 2009 in An Extra Springboard for You, Kelsey Harris, Something Worth Doing with 2 Comments

life is interesting Something Worth Doing, Part 9: Eat Something Worth TastingBefore I get to today’s post, I want to share with you the newly established Kelsey Wynne Harris Foundation. The website is still under construction and the foundation is just getting under way so keep your eyes on that site to learn more about the foundation and what it will accomplish. However, at the site as it is, you can already find Kelsey’s story and read some of her writings. 

Kelsey’s number one key while she fought her cancer was to maintain happiness. When asked how she could always be so happy, she said with maturity beyond her years, “Life’s more interesting when your happy.” That has become a mantra for many who knew or were touched by Kelsey. The goal of the foundation is to help promote happiness in other cancer patients. They will be giving free gifts prompted by this quote to cancer patients, plus providing scholarships for others to attend Kelsey’s favorite summer camp. Who knows where else this will go to give encouragement, comfort, and happiness to others afflicted with this most depressing and debilitating disease.

If you would like to help the foundation, you can do so by purchasing t-shirts and other memorabilia emblazoned with Kelsey’s quote, “Life’s more interesting when your happy.” I think the quote can help no matter what you’re dealing with. Not to mention when you purchase this reminder you are helping spread happiness to others who are suffering.

By the way, none of the links on this page have any kind of affiliate program going on. None of the money from your purchases will be wasted on greasing my pockets. It will all go to help Kelsey’s foundation. So, feel free to use the links on this post with impunity.

Eating Something Worth Tasting

(If you need to know what this is all about, start with the first post in the series and click through the succeeding links. Also, as posts are added links will be placed in that first post to each one.)

Today, I want to…

Eat Something Worth Tasting.

dessert Something Worth Doing, Part 9: Eat Something Worth TastingDoes this sound familiar?

“Where do you want to eat tonight?”

“I don’t know; where do you want to eat?”

“I don’t know; what sounds good to you?”

“I don’t know.”

The conversation goes back and forth, you begin to list all the restaurants in the area. Despite the delicious offerings each restaurant represents you just can’t seem to decide what your taste buds want. This is choice overload. This past Sunday was Fathers Day. My family and I drove around trying to decide what to eat. The really sad part about it was the number of restaurants we checked off our list because that would be just like going out when we normally go out. We wanted something special, something different from the norm.

There are folks in huge sections of the world who just can’t fathom this massive amount of choice that we Americans have when it comes to eating. There are some folks whose goal today is hopefully just to get to eat something. But we have a greater blessing. We get to choose what tastes good to us.

I know why this made the cut on Kelsey’s resolution list. Kelsey, following in the footsteps of her dad, loved to check out local flavor. She was an amateur restaurant critic. She loved to try the new. After all, she never knew exactly when she was going to eat something really worth tasting. In fact, Kelsey and her dad had a rule on vacation—never eat anywhere they could eat while at home.

I’m actually kind of envious. I’m more of a creature of habit. I look around and see restaurants I don’t recognize and think, “Oh no, what if I don’t like that.” They stepped up to the challenge as a way of life. When I go out to eat later tonight, I’ll probably order the exact same thing I ordered the last few times. Why? Because I know that is worth tasting.

Interestingly, what I get from this is we both want to eat something worth tasting today, but we come at it from different angles. I’m sure on all the points of this resolution list, I see things a little differently than Kelsey did, but on this one, we are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Perhaps we can get Simon, Kelsey’s dad, to do a guest post some time to help us see Kelsey’s desire to eat something worth tasting.

For me, this statement just makes me think about the amazing blessings in our lives. Of course, the amazing thing about the internet is that people from all over the world can read this. Perhaps you don’t enjoy these blessings, but my American readers do.

I get to have a handful of favorites because we have the same restaurants all over the place. Kelsey and her dad could continually try something new because there are seemingly endless choices.

Amazingly, for all of this, we still try to act like we are so poor. We gripe because we don’t have so many different things. We act like God has withheld so many blessings from us. But think about it. We can have “I want to eat something worth tasting” on our list of goals for the day.

Here’s the challenge for today. Make today a whine free day. Make it a day where you do nothing but count your blessings. Make a list of the many ways in which you are blessed. Can you see? (You are reading a blog.) Can you hear? Can you talk? Can you breathe? Have you eaten? Do you have clothes on? Are your clothes clean? Were they cleaned in a washing machine? Do you have extra clothes in your closet? Are you reading this on a computer? Did you drive your car today? Can you walk?

Do you see the point? How blessed are you?

Don’t take the simple things for granted. God doesn’t owe them to you. He could take them away at any moment. Count your blessings today and give thanks. In fact, make that a daily exercise. Write out a gratitude list each day of 5, 10, 20 things you are thankful for. See how that doesn’t change your view of your life. Somewhere on the list, you may want to include that you got to eat something worth tasting.

(Come back next week for a guest post by Simon Harris, Kelsey’s dad, about this same topic, eating something worth tasting.)

Page 1 of 212»
Subscribe today! Get God's Way in your inbox!