If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. At the same time, if you always do what everyone else does, you’ll always get what everyone else gets. But sometimes, just sometimes, when you step out of the mold, stare down the critics, and do things a little differently, you just might take home the gold.
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The Jerusalem church grew like wildfire. No doubt, the quickly developing relationships within that local body helped promote the rapid and sustained growth. According to Acts 4:32, the “full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul…” Unity produced stability. Stability produced growth. If we want to grow like Jerusalem, we need unity. But why?
(If you landed on this post without seeing the others in this series, let me explain what is going on here. Right now, when I write about God’s Way for Our Congregations, I’m in the middle of a series on the Jerusalem church and it’s success. This is the 14th post in the series. I know, I know, that’s awfully long, but there is a lot to learn from the Jerusalem church. I encourage you to check out the introduction to this series to know more about what is going on and to find an index of the posts in this series as they are put up. Enjoy.)
Philippians 1:27-2:11, provides a great outlook on why unity is necessary and how to achieve it. Today, we’ll start with why unity is necessary.
Philippians 1:29-30 demonstrates that unity within the congregation is necessary because when we venture into the world, we are going to suffer. Satan can’t stand that we have dedicated our lives to Jesus Christ. He is doing anything and everything in his power to get us to separate from Jesus. One of the easiest ways to accomplish that is to separate us from Jesus’ family. If we are isolated, disconnected, unassociated, we are easy pickings. The mountain lion doesn’t attack the gazelle in the middle of the herd. He looks for the one that is separated and disconnected.
Because of our suffering, we need connection to people who understand where we’ve been and where we are. We need people to rely on. We need a safe haven of friends to uplift us. For a good example of that, look again at Jerusalem. In Acts 4:1-31, Peter and John had been taken prisoner for healing a man. (Imagine that! “Um, yes sir, we have to arrest you for healing that man. We can’t have any unauthorized healings going on around here.”) When they had been threatened and released, where did they go? They went to their friends. What did they do? They prayed. When Peter and John suffered, they had friends they could turn to for help and rely on for powerful encouragement. They had a unified group of believers who would help them turn to the only place they could get true strength and courage.
I don’t want to simply provide you with an unhealthy dose of guilt. However, I can’t think about this without wondering why there are so many churches that aren’t unified. Sadly, I think the problem is so few of us (myself included sometimes) let the gospel so affect us that either Satan or the world sees us as a threat. Therefore, they let us pass through without any notice. Because they aren’t attacking us, we don’t need a safe haven. Therefore it becomes too easy for us to turn in on ourselves and become the backbiters and devourers against which Paul warned in Galatians 5:15.
I’m not saying we should go out and pick fights with non-Christians or Satan. I’m just suggesting that when we let the gospel radically affect us, suffering will increase. When that happens, we will learn why we need unity in the body. Then we’ll understand why it helped Jerusalem so much.
In my next post, I’ll talk more about how to achieve unity. What are your thoughts? How can a church achieve this kind of unity? To add your input, click here.
Facing Your Giants
I have a question for you. Who killed Goliath? (If you don’t know the story of Goliath click here: 1 Samuel 17:1-54.)
David walked on the battlefield. David chose the stone. David swung the sling. David aimed the sling. David slung the stone. David wielded the sword. But who killed Goliath? According to David, God did (cf. 1 Samuel 17:46-47). What a great lesson we gain from this. King Saul wanted David to rely on his armor. That is, he wanted David to rely on the strength of a man. But Saul, though he was head and shoulders above all the Jews, must have known how useless that was. After all, he hadn’t stepped out to face Goliath. David refused to rely on his own strength or his own armor. Instead, he relied on God’s strength.
If we want to face the giants in our lives, we have to learn to rely on God’s strength. But what does that look like? Notice that for David, relying on God’s strength didn’t look like sitting at the edge of the battlefield with legs folded in on themselves, eyes closed, and arms upraised with the thumbs touching the middle-fingers, just waiting on God to send fire from heaven. It meant that David chose a stone, slung a stone, and chopped off a head. To the casual observer it may not have looked like God doing anything. But David did all these things because he was actually relying on God’s strength.
With that in mind, here are 10 practical ways for you to rely on God’s strength every day as you face your giants. These are the ways for you to choose your stones, sling your rocks, and chop of your giant’s head by relying on God.
I know this sounds odd. But the first practical thing you have to do if you want to beat the giants is give up…surrender. But not to the giants, to God. Today and next Monday, I am going to share 9 other practical ways to rely on God’s strength, but if we don’t get this first point about our attitude and motive right, the others won’t help us. According to 2 Corinthians 12:10, we are only strong when we are weak. Only when we recognize we can’t win will we truly give ourselves over to God and let Him win the victories through us.
If you are like me, you may have tried numerous things to make yourself stronger. “Maybe if I read my Bible more, I’ll be strong enough. Maybe if I pray more, I’ll be strong enough. Maybe if I ‘go to church more,’ I’ll be strong enough.” Do you notice who I’m still focused on there? I’m focused on me being strong enough. I’m still relying on my strength. I’m essentially choosing to put on Saul’s armor and hoping that will help me defeat the giants. I need to recognize I’m not strong enough and, therefore, give up fighting. Instead of doing things to make me strong enough. I need to do things that will connect me to God because He is strong enough.
1 Thessalonians 5:17 says we should “pray without ceasing.” But I don’t want to simply call this tool, “Prayer.” Maybe we can call it “Prayer 2.0.” We need to take prayer to the next level. Instead of praying because it is the daily Christian homework assignment, pray because you are convinced God is right there with you listening. Envision Him as a you would a friend sitting across the table from you or walking beside you. Talk to Him because He is there.
Start your day talking to Him in prayer. Could you imagine waking up next to your spouse, walking around the house with her/him, eating breakfast, getting ready, and never saying a word? I can imagine that. Sadly, it has happened at my house. When? When things were bad. When someone is in our presence and we aren’t talking to them, it means something is wrong with that relationship. So get up and tell God, “Good morning. Please stay with me today.” Tell Him anything else that is on your mind. When you go to bed at night, tell Him, “Good night. Thanks for being with me today.” Tell Him anything you need to unload before going to sleep.
Talk with Him while you go through your day. Share what you are about to do. Ask Him to help with the decisions you are about to make. Follow-up with thanks for blessings that occur. If you fall, talk to Him about why it happened. This helps because it’s hard to gossip about your co-worker if you begin by asking God if He thinks it’s okay. It’s hard to look down a woman’s flapping shirt if you first run it by God to see what He thinks about it.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 says we should give thanks in every circumstance. No doubt, this is part of walking in God’s presence, but it is so important that I want to give it its own special recognition.
Let’s face it. Bad things happen to us all the time. We live in a fallen world. People sin. Because of sin, bad things are going on and we suffer for it. When bad things happen and even good things don’t go my way, I begin to get a little bitter. How about you? I begin to get resentful. I resent my wife, my kids, my friends, my co-workers, my neighbors, my brethren. Worst of all, I begin to resent God. I start to think maybe He is picking on me. Why won’t He let things go my way? This bitterness and resentment leads me to turn away from God and start relying on me. After all, if I don’t take care of me, who will? But this always leads me into sin. When I’m taking care of me, I always get trampled by the giants.
One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received is about writing a gratitude list. Start your day with one. End your day with one. Maybe even in the middle of the day remind yourself with one. You can obviously just pray your list. But on tough days I urge you to write your list down. Something about writing it makes it real.
What are you thankful for today? Breathing, walking, eating, clothing, cars, home, friends, wife, kids, job, church, ability to read, ability to speak, ability to move, opportunity to read “God’s Way Works”… This list can go on and on. As I unload all the blessings I have received, I begin to realize God isn’t picking on me. I really don’t have it that bad. Actually, lots of things are going my way. Maybe I don’t need to turn to my sins after all. Maybe I can ignore them for another day.
In Acts 20:32, Paul commended the Ephesian elders to God and the word of His grace. Why? Because it would sanctify them and prepare them for the inheritance God wanted to pass on to them. Like prayer, this was not a daily homework assignment to trudge through and prove they were good enough. It was a source of life. If only God can beat the giants, then connect to Him in His word.
Don’t read the Bible like a newspaper, just trying to get through the day’s news. Listen to God’s word for the help it is offering. Find passages that help you in certain situations and return to them again and again as needed. I return to Psalm 119:145-152 over and over again to remind me that I don’t observe God’s testimonies so He will save me, but I need Him to save me so I will observe His testimonies. I go to Psalm 141:1-5 repeatedly in the face of temptation to remind me to ask for God to take over, setting a guard over me and providing me with others who will provoke me to righteousness. I go to Isaiah 40:28-31 to remind me that God is with me and will get me through whatever I’m facing. I go to Psalm 18:1-3 to remind me how great God is. God’s word really does give life when we use it as a life-giving connection to God instead of a dead homework assignment.
Romans 13:14 says, “…make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” Providing for the flesh is not the same as pursuing the flesh. “Making provision” is a picture of getting ready for a trip. When you are going on a trip you to have to make your provisions. That is, you have to pack your bags, plan your lodging, prepare your food, get your money together. You can’t possibly take your trip to Disney World if you haven’t made provisions for that trip. But making the provisions is not exactly the same as the trip itself. So, quit asking yourself if what you are about to do is actually a fleshly, sinful trip. Maybe it isn’t. But maybe it is packing your bags for one. Don’t do that either.
Sometimes the giants beat us because we rely on our own strength. That is, we pack our bags and make provisions to travel in the flesh. We think we can do that for a while but keep from actually taking the trip. The fact is if we pack our bags to travel into the flesh, we are going to submit to the flesh. We just aren’t that strong. Relying on God’s strength means packing our bags to travel with the Spirit. We make preparations to walk in the Spirit and by the Spirit.
Consider an example. Going to a buffet is not the same as committing gluttony (I choose this as an example because I still haven’t met anyone who ever commits, or should I say confesses to, gluttony). Is it a sin to eat at a buffet? No. Can some people eat at a buffet and not commit gluttony? Absolutely. But what if your giant was gluttony. What if it was whooping your backside every time you came onto the battlefield? Then eating at your local Chinese buffet is going to be packing your bags to walk in the flesh. Don’t spend all your time defending how eating there isn’t a sin. That’s not the issue. If you keep walking into a place where gluttony beats you every time, you are packing your bags to get beat by the giants. Rely on God’s strength instead by packing your bags to walk with Him.
Alright, this has gotten long enough as it is. Thanks for sticking with me this far. Come back next Monday and I’ll provide 5 More Ways to Rely on God’s Strength to Beat Your Giants.
Dan Miller, author of “48 Days to the Work You Love” and “No More Mondays” and the force behind 48days.com, is one of my reading and listening mentors. That is, I read his books and listen to his podcast as often as I can. I even had lunch with him once, since he is a local of Franklin, Tennessee. I love to hear his ideas and gain insight from his experience. He is definitely one of my inspirations for going ahead and publishing my first secular, self-help book, “Getting to Did.”
Dan recently read “Getting to Did,” and here is some of what he said.
“Today I had a last minute lunch meeting cancellation so I grabbed your book as I headed out to eat lunch by myself. I started through and just kept reading until I finished. The waitress joked with me that they were charging me by the minute. Anyway – what a great read. Obviously, your message was a home run with me – so many people I see get stuck somewhere along the path you describe.”
“Getting to Did” tells the story of Sam, a middle-aged man who just lost his job and sees his world falling apart. He keeps hitting one roadblock after another until his neighbor, Dave, takes him under his wing, introduces him to three new mentors, and teaches him how to get rid of his big “but.” If you’ve lost a job, are looking for a job, are trying to figure out what your life is going to be about, or simply want to improve how you do your present work, Sam’s new mentors can help you out. They can help you turn your Couldas to Cans, your Shouldas to Shalls, your Wouldas to Wills, and get rid of your big but.
Dan Miller recommends the book to his clients. He also wrote: “I just sent my copy to a client I’m working with right now…” Now I’m recommending this book for you.
If you haven’t checked out “Getting to Did,” you can actually read it for free, right here on my website. Start here. Or you can go to my webstore and get your very own copy to write in and reference.
Order yours today!
Yes, that is an affiliate link.
Ladies and Gentleman,
I am proud to announce that despite several obstacles that have put us off schedule several times over the past few months, I finally got to did and “Getting to Did” is available for sale. Check it out and purchase your copy today.
This book is a bit different from my norm. It is my first secular, self-help book. If your world seems to be crumbling, learn along with Sam how to put it back together. If you know someone who is about to start their trek in the “real world,” this will make a great gift.
Just click the book and be transported to the webstore to buy this great guide for getting things done.
Feel free to review the book for free. I’ve blogged this book for you for free. Check it out here. If it helps you, buy the hard copy to keep with you, mark up, and re-read again and again.
Have a great day!
Edwin
This post does contain affiliate links.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found the final installment of my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the previous installment, Sam had his very first YES MEN Council Meeting. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)
Sam continued with his plans. He turned his COULDAS into CANS, his SHOULDAS into SHALLS and his WOULDAS into WILLS. He got rid of his big BUT. He was consistently able to GET TO DID.
Don’t misunderstand. His life was no bowl of cherries. He had struggles. He had ups and downs. Some days, weeks and years were worse than others. He had times when he considered throwing in the towel. His YES MEN council helped him through those days.
In time, his business expanded. He employed others and eventually trained managers to start extensions of his company in neighboring cities. He began to write do-it-yourself manuals that he sold online providing residual income beyond his own personal landscaping work.
Sam began to teach these principles to his family, friends and employees. He was convinced that the more people he could help GET TO DID, the better his community would be. Sam found himself a part of several YES MEN councils. One of his greatest pleasures was seeing someone else GET TO DID.
He continued to celebrate his successes with his council. He even became a trusted advisor for each of these people who had been a help to him.
To each person he taught, he explained that the specifics in their life would differ. They SHOULD follow their own life’s course. But the principles would be the same, whether they started a business, found a job or just needed help with a particular project.
Sam’s biggest desire today is propagating the GETTING TO DID message as far and wide as possible. He is asking you to help. Don’t hoard this message. GO BEYOND YOURSELF and share it with others.
This is the end of Sam’s story.
Hopefully, it is the beginning of yours.
(Thanks for going on this journey with me. I hope you have enjoyed Sam’s story. I hope you have been helped. Please, pass the message on to others. Invite them to this blog. Better yet, let them know about the book. It will be published and for sale in October 2009.)
This post does contain affiliate links.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned about YES MEN. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)
As Sam looked up from the paper, the COACH asked, “What do you think, Sam?”
“This is great,” replied Sam excitedly, “I’m on fire. I CAN Make the PLAY right now on sheer PASSION alone. You, however, have helped me realize it won’t always be like this. I have to be prepared for those moments when I don’t feel like Making the PLAY. I need to LOOK TO THE FUTURE, thinking in the big picture to stay motivated even when I’m not on fire about what I am doing at the moment. I must ACCEPT NO EXCUSES but face up to my responsibilities and push on to success. Finally, I need to get a council of YES MEN who’ll push me where and when I need to be pushed.”
“You’ve got it. Any questions?”
“Yeah, WILL you be one of my YES MEN?”
The COACH grabbed Sam’s hand and shook it, saying, “I thought you’d never ask. How about we go grab a bite of lunch and have our first YES MEN council meeting?”
“Sounds great,” Sam said. As he walked to the COACH’S car, he looked again at the card the COACH had given him.
*****
Sam was so excited as he shared what he learned with Susan she could not make even one objection to what he had to say. To Sam’s pleasant surprise, when he finished his ecstatic description, she said, “I WILL be happy to let you follow whatever course you think you SHOULD on two conditions.”
“Really? What are they?” Sam asked.
“First, let me be one of your YES MEN and keep me informed about what’s going on. Second, let me live by the same principles.”
“That’s awesome, as long as you promise to really be a YES MAN or perhaps I should say, YES WOMAN. I don’t mind if you keep me in reality, but will you be willing to dream with me and make those dreams realities?”
“I’ll put it this way,” Susan responded thoughtfully, “I don’t think I am as far down this GETTING TO DID path as you. But I promise to keep walking it with you.”
Sam jumped up and kissed his wife. It had been a while since they shared a kiss quite like that one.
(Come back next week to see Sam set up his Getting to Did Council and moves on with success in his life.)
This post does contain affiliate links.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned about Accepting No Excuses. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)
After reading the questions on the paper, he asked, “Okay, I get the PASSION, LOOKING TO THE FUTURE, and ACCEPTING NO EXCUSES. But what is up with this YES MEN thing? I’ve always hated that.”
The COACH responded, “Yeah, Dave told me you were already upset about that one. The normal connotation of YES MEN is dreadful. We don’t want people who just always say, ‘Yes,’ even when they disagree in order to get on our good side. That, however, is not what I mean by YES MEN. We want people who will challenge our thinking and expand our vision.
“These YES MEN are people with whom you surround yourself to encourage you and hold you accountable. They are the people who tell you, ‘YES, you CAN,’ when you are thinking, ‘No, I can’t.’ They tell you, ‘YES, you SHALL,’ when you are thinking, ‘No, I shall not.’ They tell you, ‘YES, you WILL,’ when you are thinking, ‘No, I won’t.’
“Your YES MEN are your accountability partners. Dave and I get together regularly along with the TRAINER and the PROFESSOR to act as each other’s YES MEN. Further, we get together with many of the other people we have helped along the way.
“I hope you don’t think it’ll be a cake walk from this point on. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve had this conversation with who end up settling for mediocrity in their lives. They don’t step up to the plate. When you talk to them today, they’ve just grown their big ol’ BUTS back again. Without fail, each one started back into their old habits of COULDA, SHOULDA and WOULDA by neglecting their relationship with their YES MEN.
“As you pick out your YES MEN, don’t pick out the ones we often think of as YES MEN, the ones afraid to state their convictions and disagree when it’s necessary. They won’t help you. Pick the ones who’ll push you. Pick the ones who’ll force you to get up when you have fallen. Pick the ones who’ll question you and make you clarify your vision and your course of action. Pick the ones who’ll ACCEPT NO EXCUSES. But make sure to pick out YES MEN who are willing to say ‘YES, you CAN,’ even when no one else has before.
“When you have established your council of YES MEN, be completely open and honest with them. Let them know your plans, dreams and visions. Let them know the obstacles you see and the struggles you face. Let them know your fears. Then listen respectfully to their advice. Remember, it’s just that, advice. You SHOULD still be you and you must make your final choices. Good YES MEN will ACCEPT NO EXCUSES from you, not even, ‘I did what you YES MEN said I SHOULD.’
“Here are the benefits of YES MEN. First, two heads are better than one. Even with all of your INSIGHT into your work and life, it’s still hard to read the label when you’re inside the bottle. It’s always good to get advice and counsel from others with differing perspectives.
“Second, you’ll be surprised how often your network of YES MEN can actually help you with your projects in practical ways by connecting you with others or with needed resources. For instance, when I first started working with this high school, you may remember the team had maintained a losing record for several years. The school board had cut the budget. We were in desperate need of new equipment and didn’t have the funds.”
“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Sam said. “I remember little Sam complaining about some of the outdated and dilapidated equipment. One of the local sporting goods stores stepped in and made some donations didn’t it?”
“That’s right. What you don’t know is those donations came because I laid out my troubles to my YES MEN council. The TRAINER had a connection with the upper crust at that store. Dave had an accountant friend who explained the tax advantages of making such a donation. Voilà, our equipment issues were resolved.
“The third benefit from YES MEN is they help pick you up when you fall down. Before I moved here, I had an experience so devastating I was ready to throw in the towel. I had made a few mistakes in my first head coaching job. Instead of letting me learn from them and grow, one of my assistant coaches, a man I thought was a friend, went behind my back to get me ousted so he could have the job. It was my introduction to another aspect I hate about this job—school politics. I was down and the ref had counted to 9. That was when Dave really came into my life. He had been my landlord for a few years. One day he was just checking out his property and struck up a conversation with me. I guess I needed someone to talk to because I just opened up to him like he was my best friend. He taught me about GETTING TO DID and ever since he has acted as my YES MAN, picked me up and helped me move on. I’m just going to tell you, you can’t replace that or manufacture it on your own.
“Fourth, maybe I think this because I’m such a people person, but life is just more fun when you’re sharing it with others. Your council of YES MEN gives you people to laugh and cry with. It gives you people to support and people who support you. It gives you people who will pat you on your back when you do well and kick you in the backside when you slack off. It just makes life more interesting and more fun.
“Finally, when it’s time to do battle and go toe to toe with the ones who’ll try to knock you down and keep you from reaching your goals, your YES MEN provide you with support and strength you WILL never have alone.
“My game is a game of YES MEN. I have yet to see the one man football team. No PLAY in my game is ever made by a single player. I never let my team forget that. We have to support each other, defend each other and bust heads for each other. In the end, I’m convinced there’ve been some games we won simply because we ‘YES we CANned’ each other through it.
“Here’s your final exercise. It’s pretty simple.”
(Come back next Thursday as the Coach wraps up with Sam.)
This post does contain affiliate links.
(If you have stumbled across this post, you have found me blogging my upcoming book “Getting to Did: How To Lose Your Big But and Live a Life Without Regret.” In the last installment, Sam learned about Looking to the Future. If you need to catch up on the whole book, you can start with “Sam’s Crumbling World” which has an index of all the posts or you can follow the successive links.)
“Alright we have talked about PASSION and LOOKING TO THE FUTURE. Now you must learn to ACCEPT NO EXCUSES,” the COACH began again. “Even the best laid plans get old from time to time and you just don’t want to follow through. This is an agreement issue. You have agreed to and committed yourself to a course of action. You must ACCEPT NO EXCUSES until you have followed through. We have to realize just about everything we do is a choice. You did not have to come here today; you chose to. You did not have to work your job for all those years; you chose to. You do not have to do anything about your situation right now; you are choosing to. EXCUSES are nothing more than blaming something or someone for our carelessness or wrong choices.
“Think of a few excuses you’ve made when you didn’t pull through like you were supposed to. Have you ever excused yourself for not coming through on a project by saying, ‘I’m sorry, I just didn’t have enough time’? What would you have said if the person questioning you had asked, ‘What did you spend your time doing instead of working on this project? Did you keep up with your favorite television show?’ Or have you ever fallen short and responded, ‘I’m sorry, I just forgot’? Why didn’t you act on it immediately or write it down? Do not tolerate EXCUSES from yourself. Listen, I’m not saying be a tyrant to everyone else. I’m telling you to hold yourself to higher standards and ACCEPT NO EXCUSES.”
Sam jumped in, “But aren’t there times when you really have a good EXCUSE?”
“No, there are never good EXCUSES. There are, at times, good REASONS. There is a difference. In a game, if one of my receivers gets the ball in his hands and drops it, he will be running laps. I ACCEPT NO EXCUSES for that. I don’t want to hear how wet the ball was or how he was distracted or how he forgot what pattern he was running. Those are all EXCUSES. I want to hear he caught the ball. On the other hand, if the quarterback throws it wild or if the defense just makes a good play, I don’t hold that over my receivers’ heads. Those are REASONS. Sometimes my team just gets outplayed on the field. If the other team’s defense was just making all the right moves and their offense was working tight, I can handle getting beat. That is a REASON for losing. On the other hand, if my guys were sloppy and not putting forth their best effort out there on the field, everything they will say in the locker room afterwards is just an EXCUSE. I don’t tolerate that sort of behavior from my football team or myself.
“There is another aspect of ACCEPT NO EXCUSES. No matter how much you plan, prepare and protect yourself, there are going to be some failures. I’m sure one of the others already told you this, however, the only people who never fail are the ones who don’t try anything. ACCEPT NO EXCUSES means when you fail you don’t duck out on your responsibilities. You don’t make up lame excuses to explain away your failure. Take a good long hard look at what you did and what obstacles you faced. Then find the REASONS you failed and try again, working to overcome those REASONS. Use your failures as a springboard for future successes.
“At the same time, don’t think that ACCEPT NO EXCUSES means you have to beat yourself up every time you make a mistake. I remember one time when I learned I was doing this to myself. I missed a turn and the first thing out of my mouth was, ‘You idiot!’ But it struck me. I wasn’t an idiot. I’m actually a pretty smart guy. I just had my mind on other things and missed my turn. I did what all humans do. I made a mistake. Here was the great thing. I learned that day to make a u-turn and learn from my mistake to do better the next time. I ACCEPTED NO EXCUSES. I didn’t try to blame anyone else or anything else. I owned my own mistake and learned from it to do better the next time.
“If you’re going to COACH for very long, you have to do this. When I lose a game, I don’t get to say, ‘That’s it, I’m never playing that team again.’ In fact, I may have to play them again this year. That means I get out the video and go over the game, play by play, looking for mistakes and weaknesses. At the same time, I look for what worked. In other words, I find the REASONS we lost in order to fix what is broken before we play that team again. I ACCEPT NO EXCUSES. I certainly discipline my team for sloppy play, but I don’t beat them up or call them names for making mistakes. I encourage us all to own our responsibilities, to learn from the mistakes and move on.
“I imagine you encountered the need for this philosophy time and again in the sales world.”
“You know it. If there was ever anything that clued me in to know someone wasn’t going to cut it as a salesman, it was how they handled rejection,” Sam explained. “Some viewed it as a springboard, a place to learn. Some took it personally, thinking it meant they were failures. I’ll tell you what though, my best salesmen did not just use their failures as learning experiences. They would even review their successes with their co-workers and supervisors, looking at what worked and what may have almost been a hindrance.”
“You’re two steps ahead of me, Sam. If you’re going to grow, don’t just look at your failures, examine your successes. Is there anything you can do to make it work more smoothly? Was there something different about this team or that customer that made this approach work when it didn’t or wouldn’t work another time? Either way, you’re always working to rule out EXCUSES. You can’t Make the PLAY if you are always making EXCUSES for why you’re not making it, won’t make it or didn’t make it.
“This really cuts to the heart of the COULDAS, SHOULDAS and WOULDAS and your big BUTS. When we find ourselves saying those, we are usually making EXCUSES.”
“Now you’re making me feel small. I don’t know how many EXCUSES I’ve accepted throughout my life. When you put it like this, it makes perfect sense. I’m going to work on that,” Sam said thoughtfully. “Where’s my homework on this one?”
(Make sure you come back next week when the COACH teaches Sam about Yes Men.)
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